grabbing

L

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I was walking with my boyfriend and his parents through the city center where we were meeting his extended family for drinks. As we walked past 3 men in the street, one of them reached over and grabbed my bum. My partner or his parents didn’t see as they were just in front of me. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say or do. I just stared at the man in utter shock. I tried to tell my partner who was just walking ahead but couldn’t get my words out and I didn’t want to make a scene in front his family. It’s amazing that you can’t even feel safe walking down the street in a group with people who care about you. I was utterly shocked and felt totally violated.

Hannah

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I was 17 and found myself dancing with a strange older man that I didn’t really want to be dancing with but I didn’t want to be rude and walk away. I was very young… He grabbed my hand and forced it onto his crotch. He said something along the lines of “stop pretending to be shy, I know you want to”. I threw my hands up into the air, gave him a disgusted, horrified look and ran off to find my friend. This was 15 years ago and I have still never told anybody.

Anna

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I can be very outgoing and open-hearted, showing people I like and care about my affection. I like to hug people and – I am starting this story by why it might have been my fault. But it wasn‘t… I have a colleague who I used to like very much, he is about 30 years older than me and 100% friend-zoned, no flirting or attraction what so ever. We used to joke around and have a good time together. One day, he was standing next to me and somehow jokingly put his hand in my trouser pocket, really grabbing my butt for what felt like a really long time. I was petrified, did not know how to react so I looked at him and said something like „Is that how we treat each other lately? I thought that was my ass, only to be touched by my husband…“ (who was in the same room but did not seem to realize what was going on behind my back). He responded in a dull and senseless way „Well no, this is my little ass!“. The situation was SO awkward, I was completely taken by surprise, felt paralyzed and unable to confront him. I tried to ignore the incident but it‘s been a year or more and I still think about it every time I see him and I can‘t stand him anymore, I am starting to feel disgusted by him, especially because he has a way of telling me to get him a coffee that makes me furious. The other day he started nagging about how unfair it was that women came out with their stories of sexual assault decades after it happened and even accused men who were already dead. He argued, he doesn‘t get why they can‘t just keep their mouths shut. I told him if he won‘t shut his mouth right now and leave my office this discussion will get very uncomfortable for him. I wasn‘t up for a fight. He left and I felt relieved. I don‘t know how to handle it, he keeps asking my husband if we want to go biking on the weekends or do stuff together, but I don‘t want to spend a second of my time with him. I already told my husband about what happened, but he just said „Talk to him and straighten things out.“. I don‘t think anything can be straightened out. It‘s been too long, he probably won‘t remember and if I tell him now how muchvit bothered me, he‘ll just shrug his shoulders and pretend it never happened, I‘m sure…