I can be very outgoing and open-hearted, showing people I like and care about my affection. I like to hug people and – I am starting this story by why it might have been my fault. But it wasn‘t…
I have a colleague who I used to like very much, he is about 30 years older than me and 100% friend-zoned, no flirting or attraction what so ever. We used to joke around and have a good time together. One day, he was standing next to me and somehow jokingly put his hand in my trouser pocket, really grabbing my butt for what felt like a really long time. I was petrified, did not know how to react so I looked at him and said something like „Is that how we treat each other lately? I thought that was my ass, only to be touched by my husband…“ (who was in the same room but did not seem to realize what was going on behind my back). He responded in a dull and senseless way „Well no, this is my little ass!“. The situation was SO awkward, I was completely taken by surprise, felt paralyzed and unable to confront him.
I tried to ignore the incident but it‘s been a year or more and I still think about it every time I see him and I can‘t stand him anymore, I am starting to feel disgusted by him, especially because he has a way of telling me to get him a coffee that makes me furious.
The other day he started nagging about how unfair it was that women came out with their stories of sexual assault decades after it happened and even accused men who were already dead. He argued, he doesn‘t get why they can‘t just keep their mouths shut. I told him if he won‘t shut his mouth right now and leave my office this discussion will get very uncomfortable for him. I wasn‘t up for a fight. He left and I felt relieved.
I don‘t know how to handle it, he keeps asking my husband if we want to go biking on the weekends or do stuff together, but I don‘t want to spend a second of my time with him. I already told my husband about what happened, but he just said „Talk to him and straighten things out.“. I don‘t think anything can be straightened out. It‘s been too long, he probably won‘t remember and if I tell him now how muchvit bothered me, he‘ll just shrug his shoulders and pretend it never happened, I‘m sure…