Lia
Today I’m sorting through my clothes.I intend to get rid of the super-short tight crop tops, the dresses which are low cut in a ‘v’ almost as far as my bellybutton, the dresses that are so short I can’t lift my arms past waist height and a few sheer tops that are basically see-through. These were all given to me over the years by my husband of nearly 20 years. I have had to be grateful for all of these gifts and wear them out with him at times despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable about it. He gets super offended if I say that I’m not comfortable wearing these things. He calls me a prude, but conversely will also comment about my size and shape making me feel even more uncomfortable. I am 44 years old. I’ve had two kids. I’m about 62kg, so a size 10 or so depending upon the brand. I am comfortable wearing leggings, short shorts and a bikini at the beach. To anyone else I’m definitely not a prude or fat. It is only with my husband that I feel these things. He is the same age, a white Australian male. He considers himself very progressive and not sexist at all. But my opinion certainly feels like it’s worth less, even talking about feminist issues and even, incredibly, my opinion about what I feel comfortable wearing. I could go on. On the whole he is a good man and I intend to stay married to him. But a marriage (or long-term relationship) should be a place where you feel accepted, valued and loved for what is in your heart and your head, not what you look like or what you achieve.