A man at my work, who had a girlfriend and a son, began talking to me, we had very similar political views and despite being 18 and him being 31 we formed something of a friendship, soon he began flirting with me and through ill-advise I returned the notion. however he took this so far as to start making comments about having sex at work and asking me to send him nude photos. I never did and I thank myself every day for staying strong. He told me he was my friend but when it came down to it he wasn’t there for me when I needed a friend, he just took a sick joy in making horrid comments on the internal work chat, he knew I wouldn’t do anything and he knew his girlfriend wouldn’t find out. he made me feel wrong for trusting him and I still have to see him everyday and it turns my stomach.
my step father assaulted me more times than I can count between ages 3-16, my mother did nothing. when he did it in front of my friends I yelled at him and he did it to them too. when I told the police the first time, a social worker came to my house and told me that as the man of the house I should be making allowances for this behaviour. I was too shocked to get their name and report them. When I was 16 he woke me up in the morning and crawled into bed with me. When I told the police the second time they told me they didn’t have the evidence to convict. there was someone on the phone with me during one of the assaults, they were never questioned. I had a total of 5 witnesses to different assaults. They were never questioned. Luckily I got out of that house but that man still walks free today.
I was raped by my then-boyfriend when I was 16. We were about to have sex but when he went in it hurt so much, I tried to push him off and he said “don’t stop me” I froze, I don’t remember much after that. It took me about 6 months to fully understand what happened to me. I told a mutual acquaintance of ours and he reached out to me insisting it didn’t happen. he didn’t even notice he was raping me. I have a new partner now who never waits a second to stop whenever I’m not okay, but there’s still times I feel his hip on my hand and I go back to that moment, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown him off me in a panic when he’s done nothing wrong, he’s always understanding and I thank him every day for that.
– a co worker 13 years older than me told me with no prompting that he “likes big women” and looked me up and down. I was 18 and in a committed relationship. – my mother told me its not an issue when 50 year old men at work flirt with me and tell me to “smile”. I was 18. – a man followed me and my mother back to our hotel in a country thousands of miles from home, he only stopped when a man we knew met us on our way back. I was 10. – I told a guy I was a lesbian (it was a phase but still valid) he looked me up and down and said “I still would”. I was 16. – the librarian in my high school told me to not wear a skirt because “no one wants to see your flabby thighs”. I was 15. – more people than I can could told me before I was 16 that my shorts and skirts were too short – my sister and I walked down the street, both wearing shorts in 25 degree heat, a white van drove past and honked, we flipped him off, he circled the block and drove past us again to scare us. I was 12. – a man 21 years older than me stayed on the phone to me for 2 hours at work (call centre) calling me every name under the sun and telling me repeatedly he was flirting with me. he even looked up my office while on the phone and went through it all on google maps. I am not allowed to end the call. – a was 15, I went on my first date, I wore a nice blouse and some floral boots. my date told me I looked “like a lesbian” when he got on the bus to leave the bus drover told me I have a “nice rack” my date saw no issue in that – a stranger on tinder messages me a vile sexual comment about what he wishes to do to me. His comment is the same as a hundred others. – I get out of the shower to find a message from a boy at school. He’s asking to finger me because he heard I’m not a virgin. I was. I had never spoken to him before. I was 14.