Media

Anonymous

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I work for a large company with offices in 4 major cities. The man who sexually harassed me works in IT. After just 7 days of rejecting his dauntless badgering, our entire network collapsed. He had been hinting at his power to tinker with my files. When I sought IT support from someone (a man) other than the Harasser, this other man suddenly disappeared from the company. Cue suicide threats. The Harasser hinted at a blog he kept, a “final manifesto” to the world. After 2 months of rejecting him, the Harasser sent me a link to the blog. I was STUNNED to read these terrifying ideas that had been running in the background, including warnings for me. The investigation starts this Wednesday. I feel exhausted, humiliated, and broken.

Lisa

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On LinkedIn, I listed myself as open to work. I have a doctorate from an Ivy League university and worked as a business research professional for a long time. Recently, I have acquired certificates in fields related to artificial intelligence and data analytics. Somehow, LinkedIn’s recommendation engine delivered an ad to me for their premium service that advertised only restaurant and hospitality industry jobs. Nothing else. Hundreds of them. It is perplexing because aside from a summer job in the 80s, I have never worked in hospitality. I trained for other things, so I guess their algorithm found that that’s what is available to highly educated women in our 50s, so it’s perpetuating that finding. I’ve been on LinkedIn for 20 years so they know exactly what I do and who I’m connected to.

anonymous

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i had this ex boyfriend who would always ask to hang out. it was never day time and he would ask me to sneak out of my house to see him. i was scared but ended up doing it. i looked at him in the eyes and told him i did not want to lose my virginity because i was 15 and i didn’t completely understand the whole sex thing. he said he understood but i’m not sure if he did because he did it anyways. once i realized that that is what he did i kinda tried to stay away from him. but turns out i was a teenage girl seeking male validation so i stayed with him. He did multiple things along those lines and ended up cheating on me with his ex gf(she cheated on him multiple times and he would use her as an excuse for the way he acted.) so hooray.

Joanna

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Every day I click onto posts online and see comments from men that objectify women or devalue them. We have gone backwards where men are re-starting to use the old outdated comments about getting back in the kitchen, and shaming women for having sex, yet also showing entitlement and anger that women don’t choose them – blaming women for wanting too much or for being innately bad or selfish and thinking we are better than we are. There is hate, fear and envy all wrapped up in this constant discourse. When men are talking about women’s lives and experiences and talking with anger or entitlement and I make a comment, I am regularly told my points are invalid or worthless because I am a woman. I feel more and more like I am voiceless and not a person. When will the government look at introducing sex/gender hate speech? If explicitly saying that someone is inferior because of other characteristics is illegal, why is it okay for a certain sex or gender to be hated? Particularly when it is the oppressed demographic that has had to fight to be given equality and there is a kick back against?

Anonymous x

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He asked me to come back his house. Deep down I didn’t want too, but i know if i said no to him the things that he would tell all of the boys at school would ruin my life so i thought a few hours of talking is better than my school life being more hell than it is. We sat down on his bed and the first thing he done was come on to me and started kissing me. I got him off me and said ‘is it okay if we just talk’ he said ‘yeah thats fine’ and i believed him. He than came onto me again kissing me and pinning me down. I said no so many times and he just begged and begged to fuck me. I tried leaving his house he didnt let me. Eventually i knew there was no way out i HAD to say yes to him. So i did. I was 13 and a virgin and now i still have a forced sexual relationship with him because i know theres no way out. The things other people would say about me and the secret photos i know hes been taking of me when we have been having sex would get shown to every boy at school and social media. I feel like its my fault surely i should just never give in to him again. I dont know wether my story is even the right story lto put on here so i am sorry if its not

josefine

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Jokes that promote women being in the kitchen & being at the service of men while they have fun and play games make me feel worthless, angry & like it’s a goddamn lost cause to make people realise that things should have moved on from this in 2024.

Jordan

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I’m so tired of walking down the street and being cat called or having men follow me shouting things after me. I’m tired of having to fight harder than my husband when I walk the dogs alone because if he has reactive dogs he’s trying his best but I’m just a bad dog owner. I’m tired of men bullying their way through life and being allowed to get away with it. I’m tired of feeling unsafe walking home at night. I’m tired of feeling unsafe walking alone during the day if I don’t have a dog or my husband with me. I’m tired of being treated differently when my husband is there versus when he’s not. I’m tired of men directing their technical information to my husband like my brain is too small to comprehend it. I’m tired of having to make myself smaller so I’m more palatable. I’m tired of always having to push to be treated in even the same ballpark as men. I’m tired of all the micro aggressions I experience on a daily basis that I don’t even register anymore. I’m tired of having to pitch against agencies run by men who are worse at what they do but get more work because they’re men. I’m tired of just fucking existing in a society that wants me to shut up and put up.

Alexa

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I walk about 5 miles twice a week on public footpaths and nature reserves for exercise and mental health. Yesterday was Bank Holiday Monday, New Years Day, and the weather was horrible so there were very few other people out and about. I was having a great time. I wished everyone I passed a Happy New Year and gave them a smile. At one point in an RSPB reserve where signs tell pedestrians to keep to the designated paths, I could see three people a few hundred metres ahead of me climbing over a fence and as I got closer I could see they were three young men and, unlike me, not dressed or equipped for walking or hiking. The path between us was wide and remote. Nobody was about and no roads or buildings nearby. Two of them stayed on one side of the path but started walking toward me and one lad went to the other side of the path so he would be walking on the other side of me when we passed. I felt intimidated. It reminded me of walking home from school as a teenager. But I’m 40, these boys were probably young enough to be my sons, so I felt a bit silly for feeling intimidated but I got out my phone and called my spouse. As the lads got close, my spouse answered the phone and I smiled at the young man nearest me, skinnier and slightly shorter than me, about to pass, as I asked my spouse “hi, how’s your day going?” I was ready to offer the young men my customary “Happy New Year” but the lad nearest me put his own phone to his ear very theatrically and shouted something sexual and aggressive I couldn’t quite make out but it was something in the arena of “hello!? yeah, I fucked her and she took it”. They laughed as they walked away. My walk was circular and I was scared I would meet them on the path back around. I didn’t. But I was furious. I’m an adult woman out for a walk and this near-child was using the threat of sexual violence to demonstrate that his gender gives him more power in this space. I’m supposed to be silent, fearful or deferent because my age and experience mean less than their gender and numbers. I wish there was something I could do about this. Meanwhile our Home Secretary was on the news this morning trying to minimise the impact of his very public “joke” which connected themes of sexual violence with controlling women’s behaviour.

B

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I remember attending another work event, and I uploaded a picture on Instagram of me at the stand for my company. Someone I knew fairly well, a friend and colleague commented ‘sex sells’ on the picture. I eventually told him this was very offensive as it felt like you were simply invalidating my being there due to my skill, brain and achievement and instead I was there to use my face and body sexually to sell my company. He did not apologise and just said ‘I was just trying to say you looked fit!’

larisa

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a man I have known for a while now has taken an interest in me and when I rejected him he was mad and made his friend harass me on social media, I saw him at the movies and when passing by my seat he hit the seat with his elbow