Tag Archives: Media

Kitty

Why on earth does the bloody media insist on throwing issues relating to stuff like women’s rights, gender, etc., open to the public for debate on the internet, on TV & radio & in magazines? From what I’ve seen, when this happens, all the misogynistic trolls come crawling out from under their rocks to add their tuppence worth. Some examples: -The subject of domestic abuse being taught about in schools was picked as a topic of discussion on Teletext one day (for those who aren’t familiar with this, Teletext on ITV had a discussion forum of sorts where you could text in with your opinions on things, & sometimes they’d ask for the public’s opinion on certain issues that had been in the news, & this was one of them). I was infuriated with the comments that were published, & I think you can guess what they were- a denial of any gender imbalance in domestic abuse (how predictable), with people texting in to say that teaching kids about domestic abuse is OK by them as long as they say that it happens to men as well, or words to that effect. An accusation of a ‘feminist agenda’ (or words to that effect) was also made by one texter- because of course domestic abuse is a feminist issue, isn’t it?! Bollocks to that- it’s an issue that concerns all of society, not just feminists, & in any case, I’d have thought that any decent person would want it shut out of society. Hey ho, I guess I was wrong. -There was a news article on Yahoo a while ago about child abuse (I think), & the comments section consisted of comments about how the stats were skewed because there are so many false allegations of rape made (or words to that effect). I no longer read the comments sections under any online news articles for this reason. -The Ched Evans case was the subject of discussion on Call Kaye [Adams] after his retrial, & according to an online news article, “There was plenty of support for Ched Evans – whom Kaye Adams described as a “promising young footballer whose career is now in tatters’’ – but not much for the woman involved, predictably…We were asked to judge the worthiness of the complainant and the accused and, as such, the discussion quickly dissolved into one on morality and the “type of woman’’ the former is. That woman, we learned, is one who has “loose morals’’, as one caller suggested. Another informed us that “she was hardly a virgin, was she?’’ while another asked: “What does she expect? These are young footballers’’. One said we all know women like this, who “put it about a bit, are a bit of a tease and a bit minxy’’.”. http://www.thenational.scot/comment/14872287.Kirsty_Strickland__Repetition_of_dangerous_rape_myths_has_no_place_in_a_responsible_debate/ And now Chat magazine has gotten in on the act as well. They have a section where they ask readers for their views on certain things, & the latest thing in their current issue is gender neutral clothing. The response was, unsurprisingly, unanimously negative (the people anti it were in the majority), with (female, I’m sorry to say) readers saying stuff like “John Lewis should stop being so politically correct”. Why is not putting your child in a box as far as their gender is concerned (i.e. not dressing little girls in pink with vomit-inducing stuff about wanting to be a princess on the front- barf city!- or dressing little boys in blue tops with dinosaurs on) being PC? Blimey O’Reilly! I rest my case.

Kay

When watching TV today. A show watched by many in Britain, the host called cricket a ‘gentlemen sport’. Sports or anything doesn’t need gender labels yet they are still consistent in many shows.

Kristen Reed

It had been puzzling to me why I felt a bit depressed this past week. My anger was just below the surface waiting to burst out of the water at the slightest irritation, and I couldn’t sort out why. To my husband I had to blame hormones (which, at my age is definitely part of the cocktail) but there has been something more…an oppressive cloud I refused to acknowledge. The root of my anger comes from years of being traumatized by men in one form or another. I’m too sensitive they say, or too emotional, but after nearly 40 years of self-suppression, it rips holes in one’s skin where steaming geysers form in every direction. Let go of your anger they say. Love is the answer they say… That’s all well and good, but once you let down the barrier of anger what remains is the overwhelming sadness that at every turn nothing has changed. Sure, Harvey Weinstein is getting a public lashing. But he is only one man. One guilty party in the sea of acceptable misogyny, that women all over the world are forced to tolerate with a smile, every single day. It isn’t just Hollywood, or the performing arts in general. Corporate culture, and even our own governments (who think it’s not only their right but their responsibility to control how we take care of our bodies) constantly exacerbate the problem. The urge to vomit out the onerous sorrow impresses upon me from every angle. All I want is one moment’s peace, an exhalation, sanctuary from being constantly on guard. Don’t you think I want to let it down, be free, laugh and smile, dance about when it pleases me? I do it anyway, so much, all the time, but it comes with advances, stares, leers, and uninvited guests. What are we supposed to do? It can seem easier to oversexualize ourselves, where we have the power and control, but the opposite effect arises…bringing the unwanted closer and in turn they feel granted with permission. I feel everything and nothing about this display of public outrage. The rest of these men are wiping their brow, for now, as we slaughter the sacrificial lamb (or wolf) center stage. But this too shall pass, and the lurking shadows will come to life once more, behaving as they have always done. Passing whispers in our ears, indignation if we reject remarks on our beauty, manly chortles when we assert boundaries, or god forbid intelligent ideas. And those are only the mild degradations. I am tired of being angry, sad, and frustrated. All I want to do is lay down my weapons in this fight. But how can I?

Kitty

I posted the other day about issues relating gender & so forth being thrown open for debate by the media, & expressed my disapproval of this. I’d like to amend something I wrote. I wrote that Chat magazine had gotten in on the act, when in fact it was Take A Break magazine.

Sarah

During the “me too” surge on Facebook, a male friend posted that he was sick of all the “gender politics” he was seeing, and wanted instead to talk about a statistic he posted comparing the number of male suicides with suicides of women. I pointed out that this was gendered too, and that while there is certainly a discussion to be had about the high incidence of suicides among men, it’s daft to pretend this has nothing to do with gender politics. I didn’t point out how this is another What About the Menz? – though it is – because I don’t want to trivialise suicide. He’s blocked me!

anonymous

It’s less about the actual things I’ve experienced and more about the fears and anxieties that those memories cause me in the present. Wondering on a first date, will this man hurt me? On the third, being told I came off as “stand-offish.” Running a block home after dark in my safe family neighborhood, because I still fear someone is following me. Fearing my ex will one day reappear for revenge, long after the daily stalking and threats eventually stopped coming. Most of all, worrying that sharing these anxieties, let alone the stories that cause them, will hurt people that I love. I have been: -Choked by a date during the first and only time we had sex. Forever rattled when I’m with someone new. -Virtually stalked from several states away for a year after ending a six-month relationship. My parents traveled with me when I went on a work trip closer to where he lived, out of fear that he would show up and hurt me. -Hit on by one of my students during class, and put in the awkward position of having to explain why that is entirely inappropriate. -On more than one occasion, coerced into giving consent. -Punished by a stupid teenage boyfriend when I denied consent for fulfilling one of his ridiculous fantasies of having sex in an airplane bathroom. It struck me as gross, cramped, overly public, and dirty. He held a grudge for the rest of our relationship. -Grabbed in the street half a block from home by six to eight young men who took my purse and all sense of personal security. I was studying abroad, and my host mom’s first comment was “they could have raped you.” I am grateful (GRATEFUL!) that they didn’t. -Grabbed at countless parties. Sometimes a friend stuck up for me. Once I drunkenly and publicly called the guy out and later felt deep embarrassment for “causing a scene.” More often than not, I silently moved to the other end of the room. -Forced to undress in front of two neighborhood boys. One was my brother, two years older than me. They touched me. I was six or seven the first time it happened. When the adults found out, I was blamed along with the boys. Silenced, in fear I had done wrong, my brother’s behavior continued for the next several years. And still, when I think “has anything that bad or severe every happened to me?” I still hesitate, partly forgetting half the list, partly denying its impact on me, but mostly glossing over the severity of my experiences.

Debbie

Recently there have been posts on facebook in a local Brighton People group about the number of pubs closing. The main post siting pubs as ‘Pubs used to be the pillars and safe houses for the community’. My reply: ‘Pillars and safehouses of the community? When? When I was a kid they were places to be avoided at all costs. Mainly used by old drunk men and if a woman dared to go into them we’d be groped and abused because we were ‘asking for it’. We were mostly afraid to go into pubs. Then trendy wine bars too over and the smoking ban came in and it improved for a bit but a woman on her own in a pub was still not in a ‘safehouse’. I think you’re living in cloud cuckoo land with your ideas of pub life.’ Most of the replies to this ignored by comments of women being abused and spoke only of the smoking ban but a few came up with these comments. First man: where the hell are these pubs? In all my years I’ve never known of a pub where women get groped. Second man: Whatvis you are wanting people to say about you being groped Debbie Mead? Do you think what ever anyone says with make any difference? Third man: I think you’re on a wind up. Only one other woman posted that she’d been groped in a pub.

Lisa

I want to know why the Daily Mail and The Sun and The Mirror are able to write about womens bodies in the way that they do . Why is this form of journalism acceptable in this day and age and why is it not outlawed They do not focus on men the same way they focus on women with objectification and sexulisation. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH