Public space

I was walking home from the gym last night in Brighton. On a well lit street, whilst I was on the phone to a friend, and in front of a restaurant, some guy grabbed my arse. I was stunned. I followed him round the corner and shouted to him to come back. I kept shouting at him and he pretended (or maybe this was genuine) that he couldn’t speak any English. I shouted at him some more. When I turned to walk away, he grabbed me again. I was more scared this time that he’d done it again so I didn’t want to get too brave and retaliate. I don’t really have any words, feelings, or a point to make. I just wanted to share this.

The Landlord of a pub I often visit with my family, is unable to serve us without passing inappropriate comment on myself and my 13 year old daughter, invariably related to our appearance. I annoy myself by not saying anything to him and put that down to the fact that he is probably in his 70s and that my contact with him is minimal enough that I can just write it off.

My friends and I were collecting a takeaway after school on a Friday. We were still wearing our uniform. When walking back home we heard honks and catcalling from a van. We realised the man driving it had been in the takeaway shop with us. We’re teenagers spending time with our friends after school, why are we getting attention from a middle aged man ?

An everyday sexism that irritates me. When I go out to a restaurant with my boyfriend 8 out of 10 times the waitress / waiter will give the bill to him instead of me – never mind if it was me who actually asked for the bill. And sometimes only thank him for visiting/paying (we always split the bill). It’s minor but it frustrates me so much. I work hard, I get paid. Let me be in charge of my expenses.

I think what I’m about to write applies to every women who has ever stepped foot in a club before. I can’t even count the amount of times I have been approached by a male and given unwanted attention, even after making up that I have a boyfriend they still consistently try to kiss and touch me.

After Sarah Everards tragic murder my local community started to tie ribbons and tributes to her memory on the gates of the local park. I went, tied a ribbon on the gate for her and decided to take a walk in the park. On that walk I was whistled at by two men and I couldn’t turn around or say anything to them it made me feel so ashamed. After I walked away from them I walked down a hill towards a group of 4 men who all stopped chatting with one another to stare at me while I walked towards them. It took everything in my power not to run straight past them. I felt so uncomfortable. I came home and cried. I started that day with thoughts for Sarah and all female victims of sexual violence and hope that her story would be leading to a better society for women. By the end of the day my hope was gone.