Been in the city for about 7 years, first in college and now living in a flat. Almost every year something happens on the street or public transport; usually much older men trying to touch me on the bus or block my way on the street and try to stop me getting passed. Once a guy I was seeing tried to get me into a threesome with his other, female friend. Neither of them were interested in consent. it was a few years ago and it still haunts me. My mother said it was my fault for having sex with someone casually. few weeks ago current boyfriend said he felt like I was trying to control him with sex because i wanted him to get in the pool with me and i said id make out with him later if he did,he know of the things that have happened to me and he also said he doesnt like my weight- how is that rational thinking considering he knows my past and doesn’t like my body apparently. female relatives also expressed vast relief when the weight went down- like id become repulsive because bit of weight went on like it does for all sometimes. they were almost offended by me not being slim. it didn’t bother me when he put on weight for a bit. I dont like my body anymore, and i dont like being hyper-sexualised by so many people. I know my things are much less then others have suffered but they point to a society that doesnt realise how sexist it is.
First of all, look out for those inherently/ subconsciously sexist people, who proclaim vigorously that rape culture does not exist, despite there being an environment where women are objectified and have their traumatic experiences viewed with indifference. Secondly, don’t worry; sexists will be punished due to karma under God, no matter what the Bible states. God is fair toward everyone and there will be justice. Moreover, always speak up whenever you receive any sort of sexist remark; don’t let it normalize any further, and please try to re-educate those who are sexist.
I was 8 years old when l was first wolf-whistled. I cried about it to my dad saying a man made me feel uncomfortable and he simply said “well you’re growing up and men are going to start noticing you”. I was forced to accept this as normalcy and start to accept the wolf-whistles and crude comments thrown at me while walking down the street. I’ve been told that these experiences aren’t supposed to be bad. I’m supposed to accept them as compliments or jokes and continue experiencing life as a woman. I am 17 now and although l’ve never been physically harassed, l’ve been verbally harassed and have also been tailed by cars while walking on my own down to the local shops. No one believes this is a serious enough situation because it’s not rape or physical harassment. My fear is that one day it will become something like that.
Today on the tube I confronted a man who was sexually harassing a woman. The woman either didn’t know it was happening or was trying to ignore it (I’ve been there). She had her back to him. He was pressing himself up against her unnecessarily and I noticed when he moved to get out of someone’s way at a stop, he had boner. I thought, ‘oh dear, that poor guy got a boner from all this jostling around and the heat and pressing together of bodies etc.’ thinking he’d go press himself against the tube door to try to conceal it ’til it went down. But no, he went right back up against the woman, even adjusting his penis on the way, and pressed it right in to her ass. This was happening right in front of me, I just had to say something. I said to him I didn’t think he needed to stand so close to her. He acted all clueless and took out his headphones and started asking me what I was talking about. I said things like, ‘I think you know what I’m talking about and why I’m saying this’. I asked the girl did she know him, and she said ‘no’. Almost immediately, the guy to my left, who wasn’t with the other guy and I don’t think could have seen what happened, started bearing down on me telling me I was mental. And challenging me over and over, not letting me say anything. They were both much taller than me, I was in the middle of them, and they both just kept talking, saying things like ‘what are you on about?’, ‘what are you trying to say?’, ‘you’re mental’. I started to feel very intimidated by then and really lost my nerve. I didn’t want to embarrass the girl, I didn’t want to embarrass myself either to be honest by spelling it out. But I know now what I should have said. I should have said nice and loud and clear: YOU CANNOT RUB YOUR PENIS UP AGAINST PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR CONSENT, WHAT YOU DID IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT, AND DENYING IT AND TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME SHOWS YOU FOR THE COWARD YOU ARE, KEEP YOUR PENIS TO YOURSELF! I didn’t say this of course, just went over it and over it in my head ’til I got home and logged on here. I feel like I need training of some sort to be able to stand my ground and find the right words in a situation like that. I was expecting him to deny it and maybe turn away from me, but not for the other guy out of nowhere to defend him, which just emboldened the perpetrator. Nobody else saw this, and the girl didn’t say anything. I was a packed rush hour Jubilee between London Bridge and Canada Water where I was glad to get off. A nice guy caught up with me afterwards and asked what happened, which I really appreciate as I was feeling quite rattled. He was horrified and had no idea what had gone on, but was just concerned for me as he saw those two guys bearing down on me. Not a nice experience, but I’m glad I spoke up. I’d like to be more resilient in the same situation in future. And find the right thing to say. I’m going to work on that.
I was on a night flight from Auckland to LA. When I got to my seat, closest the aisle, the other two passengers were already in their seats. A young female at the window and middle aged man in the middle. The man looked me (mid 20s female) up and down and says how lucky am I to me and the girl sat next to him. Making a creepy comment right at the start of a 12 hour flight? Solid. Thanks
Shame on Eurostar I booked tickets for my husband and I to travel to Bruges from London via Eurostar. I paid for these tickets on my personal credit card and it was my email address that all the details were sent to. My husband’s name was on his ticket, obviously, but other than turning up he had nothing to do with the booking. So where is this sexist? After returning I received an automated feedback email – tell us about your trip, the usual stuff. It was sent to my email address, but the email itself? Dear [husband name]. I wonder, if I booked the same trip for me and my 5 year old son, would the feedback email have come to him because he is male?
I am a high school student in Australia I sit in class everyday, and listen to my fellow class mates objectify, sexually talk and talk about different women’s sex appeal. Weather it be models, fellow female students or teachers at the school I am horrified to hear people i am supposed to grow up with . I am 15 and have been haring the comments go on for about 2 years, but can never work up the courage to confront the people. I am afraid that they will call me a a negative word or accuse me of not being “man enough” or continue to make the remarks to a worse off degree.
I have just come back from a trip to London and there was a group of 5 men with beer sitting there being loud. Then when a young girl of 20 got on at the next step they all went quiet and started to stare eyeing her up and down. Then one shouts out , “I’d love to dig out her burrow”. Then they started laughing. Then the flood gates opened and they all started asking each other whether they “would shag her” like as if she was a piece of meat. A woman then made a lump “humpf” to signal it was unacceptable but then one of the more gobby ones shouted “oh do me a favour love, put the kettle on”, Then they sang a chorus of “get your effing tits” and laughed hysterically. The conductor, who was also female came to check tickets. When she asked one of them asked “You can check my ticket anytime love”. I mean, really, the male part of society today makes me everso cross!!
On a train yesterday. I’m on my way to the toilet but a rather large young gentleman is just moving between carriages. There is obviously not enough room for him to come past me so I move into the gap between seats to let him through. He thanks me and I nod, common politeness should be acknowledged after all, but he then thanks me again, Ok, maybe he didn’t see the nod. As he come past me he says angrily “fucking smile can’t you?” Yes I can, thank you, but why should I?
I have things shouted at me on a regular basis out of car windows by men of all ages. Never a woman. I never know what they say as they are driving and seem unable to understand that not all of their comment will reach me…probably a good thing. What I have noticed is that some men like to scare women deliberately. I was on a scooter and a car came up behind me and he shouted scooter loud and suddenly to scare me. Another time I was on my scooter and a man waited till I was right by him to deliberately make a lunge for me to try and scare me. For what reason I don’t know. Another time a bunch of builders wolf whistled at me and I was only 16 or 17 at the time. When I was around 15 I went for a meal with my mum, my sister and my sisters boyfriend and his dad. At one point I asked my sister if I could borrow one of her tops. the father of her boyfriend said..you don’t wear each others clothes do you? I said yeah, were not the same size but still..and he said *well I was going to say! shes dreaming if she thinks*…and then he looked down and my chest. His son said *subtle dad!* I was only around 14 or 15 a the time. I told my sister and she just shrugged it off as nothing. I get told to *SMILE all the time by men, usually middle aged men who seem to say it with a tone of annoyance. Like how dare I walk down the street and not look good for their pleasure. I suffer from depression, and anxiety aswell as ptsd. Yet people who don’t know me and don’t have any right to tell me to do anything think they have the right to tell me to look happy. Ive never had a woman tell me to look happy. I was raped when I was 5 and sexually abused by a family member. I was once stroking a cow when it licked my top. The farmer said..oh yes they know where to get the milk from I was on the bus and the driver stopped to let a woman cross at a zebra crossing. he said ..that’s it, give me a nice view.