Public Transport

Anon

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So many stories. Was told by a guy at the football who was having a convo with my Dad that this was ‘all going over my head’ my Dad defended me and said I was a big of a football fan as him. This guy later asked if I wanted a drink, I said a beer and he said oh okay, a half right? I said no a pint. Also been in a club where someone thought it was funny to attempt to pinch my bum. I was minding my own business at the bar, thankfully my friend (male) saw what was happening and stopped it before it could happen

Katrina B.

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I’m a paramedic and when the family comes to meet the ambulance they tend to go to the driver(male) and tell him what’s going on even though I am also there getting out of the passenger side. He would say he is not the person who needs to know and would direct them to me(female). This sometimes is a shock to people that a woman would know more than their male partner.

Michelle

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On my commute back home I was waiting for the train at the platform and catching up with messages from a friend on my phone. One man in a group of men near me repeatedly said ‘just smile’, ‘smile and the world smiles back at you’. Only after a minute or so I looked up and realised he was talking to me. ‘Just smile’ he said again. Anger filled me up inside as I responded with ‘Do you have any idea how sexist it is to ask a random woman to smile? Please don’t ever say that to a woman again’. The train arrived and I walked off. It’s taken me many of these kinds of encounters to be able to respond with clear words, rather than to sheepishly smile. I will smile when you give me a reason to.

MW

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I get on not crowded train first and take my place to the right of the door. Man gets on train after me. Stands in middle of door but closer to me so I feel I don’t have space – it’s as if I’m not there. He turns slightly as if mystified there is something in his space. I say “yes, there is already someone here – there is a human being here”. He pretends not to hear and does not move. I tap him repeatedly on the shoulder and he ignores me totally with a scowl on his face. I don’t do anything else out of fear this man will hurt me. I am left burning with rage and a feeling of impotence.

Fears

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i was talking to my friends about my nervousness around men. I told them due to my experiences of assault and other terrible acts i wasn’t comfortable being around groups of me or being alone with someone i didn’t know well. I was told to get over my fears and i tried to explain i never use my fears to attack or not give men a chance. They just keep me safe and so i don’t get assaulted again. After that they just assumed i hated men. These fears just sit in my chest and i get nervous but would never attack or speak because of them, they are just there.

Sam

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On a packed bus on my way to work a guy sat next to me, taking up 3/4 of the seat leaving me squashed against the window. He started touching my breast, moving on to full on groping. I was so shocked that I froze and didn’t say anything. The next day, he got on again and although I tried to protect myself with my arms, he did the same thing, and the same thing for a third day. I reported him and was asked “are you sure?”. I told a male colleague who got on at the same bus stop as the guy and asked if he would sit next to me the next day. He laughed and said I should just move seats next time. I was so humiliated but also angry at myself for not speaking up. I ended up getting a different bus after that.

Ree

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Multiple men masturbating at m3 on public transport age 16, 18 and in my 30s. Some in busy carriages and others ignored.

Mira

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I took an Uber alone from my university campus to my flat one afternoon. The Uber driver was a very chatty middle-aged-man- I was polite but not overly friendly. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend, and I said “no” without thinking like an idiot- I’m kicking myself for not just lying. He said that was crazy because I was so beautiful, and then right before we arrived at my apartment he took a very obvious wrong turn, prolonging the ride. He asked me if I was into older guys- I told him no and that I was only seventeen but he still continued flirting, and said that he would save my number after the ride. He finally dropped me off. I did report him on the Uber app. When I told people the story later, several people said I overreacted by reporting him since I could have cost him his job, which infuriated me: he made me fear for my safety.

Cat

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Wow, thank you for this, where to begin there are so many? A few examples. 1. My male boss was publicly thanked and celebrated in a huge meeting for all of his hard work on a project I led on, in which he had no input. 2. Being sexually assaulted in a nightclub and then being told “If you dress like a slag, what do you expect?”. I was always mindful of my clothing choices after that, I shouldn’t have to be. 3. New Year’s Eve, another sexual assault in a nightclub, I turned around to a sea of male faces men, so no idea who the perpetrator was, but I felt scared, sick and ashamed. What should have been a great night out with friends left me wanting to go home and cry. 4. Having a man grind up against me hard on a packed tube. A bit more emboldened I called him out “STOP grinding your dick against me”. He got off at the next stop. I’m older now and would never let anyone get away with the above mentioned or even derogatory comments. I’m sad I didn’t have the courage then, but I know why, when these things happen, the shock and fear lead you to freeze, then worryingly perform analysis of your own behaviors, “Did I ask for it?”. I’m sad that woman are still having to put up with this shit. I know it’s hard, but speak up and call it out.

Kirsten

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Was on the tram. A man hemmed me into the corner of the seat. I thought that would be it. Then he put his hand down my trousers into my pants. I froze and couldn’t even speak. It was only when the tram stopped I got myself up and away. I’m angrier at myself for not doing anything than I am at him.