School

Trinidad Rojo

Last year was the worst year so far in my life. It all started when one guy asked if I had a boyfriend. I said yes. He started talking about how I must send him nudes and do dirty stuff with him. The next couple of days, he started from saying things like those to picking on the boys that would sit around me and telling them to take off their shirts and show it off to me. Making jokes about how I should suck his friend’s dick. Then, he started watching porn in class, somehow the teacher didn’t notice. Then another boy, well, a female to male transgender boy, started showing me porn in front of the whole class, the ones sitting beside him looked uncomfortable but didn’t do a thing. I didn’t either. Then on P. E. He gropped my ass while acting like he was tying his shoe laces. The first boy then started sending me dick pics, and at that point I told my parents who sued his, and he finally stopped. Then I decided to rant in the middle of a class about everything that had been going on. You should have seen their faces. The second boy started to cry and his friends said that was just the way he was, trying to defend him. All of this went down in the span of 4 months. While all of this was going down, my boyfriend started threatening that he would kill me and then himself if I dared leave him. When I did, the next boyfriend I had asked for nudes every day until I gave up and sent them. I am glad to say I no longer have to see them and the first at least apologized. But the damage is done.

Isabel

I was in 8th grade and i got an anonymous note in my locker telling me to kill myself. My locker was right in front of the cameras. I went to the school’s dean of conduct who is in charge of the cameras to see who sent it to me. I went there and he told me that i was overreacting and that it was probably a boy who liked me and wanted to get my attention. Long story short i never found out who it was.

K

My friends dad (who I had known since 4th grade) rubbed my back the way you rub a spouses back and combed his fingers through my hair the way you would with a spouse. Months later he tried to get me to go into a gas station with him alone. Whenever I went to my friends house he wanted a hug or something physically, not just with me but with all the girls that came over. He would go from yelling at his youngest to smiling and laughing when he saw me watching. Not too long ago me and my friend where in a library and we noticed a man sitting in the teen section past hours. Rather then sitting down across from him, me and my friend went two bookshelves away from him to quietly talk. 15 minutes later the man was slowly walking up to us and whispering something so we speed walked to the kid section (where my dad was) and he followed us all the way there and left us alone when he saw my dad. That is the day I realized that in few peoples eyes I am not a human, I am an item. I am nothing more than an item to them. in 6th grade I was told that because I am a female i am to stay and the kitchen and produce children. I was told that none of my dreams would happen because I am a female. Playing my favorite sport, basketball, the boys said i was good for a girl. I was called a prostitute while wearing athletic shorts from the boys section. I was told that because I was a female my jokes weren’t funny. I was 12 at the time being told these things by my peers both male and female. I am now 15 and can feel them starring at me as only an item.

Anon.

At school, boys in my year often make comments about how annoying feminists are or that women should ‘go back to the kitchen’. It’s always said as a joke (and it’s only a small minority who make comments like that) but I’m always left feeling angry that when I try to explain why I disagree they refuse to listen. I have also noticed that if someone is well liked then their actions often go unchallenged. A [particular boy in my year has slapped girls’ bottoms or simply put his arm around them, which may not sounds like much but is a complete invasion of privacy when you are minding your own business. School uniform rules are also ridiculous in my opinion – you are not allowed to show your ankles (is this the victorian era??!?) and my friend once found a section in the sixth form dress code which said that you couldn’t where tops that showed our shoulders. When we asked someone why, they said that male members of staff might be distracted. Not students. MEMBERS OF STAFF. I was furious that they said this so casually and completely missed the point of the matter – teach others not to objectify people rather than telling us to cover up!! This reminded me of conversations about rape victims being asked what they were wearing – victim blaming is horrific and completely wrong – but I digress… I have an afro, and since my hair is not as long as some of my friends’, I have been told that I look like a boy. Not great, but not heartbreaking to hear. However, through people’s looks and comments, (‘you have massive feet’ or ‘you know you have hair between your eyebrows right?’) I have often felt like the ‘ugly one’ or the one who doesn’t quite fit in in my friendship group. My friends themselves have never made me feel this way – they are all proud;y feminists, and always make me feel included – but I can’t help but feel that by not being typically feminine, I’ve ‘gone wrong’ somewhere. Being a mixed race, (closeted) bisexual teen, I often feel like I have to prove to everyone that I am worthy of their respect. I know others have it much worse, but it still makes me feel so frustrated that women are constantly having to earn a place in society. However, it’s sites like this that give me hope – one day, we won’t have to have these discussions. If you’ve made it to the end, thank you for reading (hehe) and remember that you are not alone in feeling upset, frustrated or angry – cheesy as it sounds, we’re in this together.

Grace

We are just going back to school after Coronavirus lockdown and it’s the first PE lesson of second year. S2, so everyone is 12 or 13. I myself am thirteen. We’re playing rounders and the boys keep on cutting in front of girls to bat next saying that we ‘wouldn’t be able to hit the ball anyway’. Me and my friend( female) start calling them out on this and they say “oh my god, are you feminists?” Like it was a bad thing. We tell them that we are because it’s a necessary part of society these days and they( very condescendingly) tell us that it’s dumb and we should just “ take a joke”. So I just turn around and try to go on with my lesson, but then they say to me “ ohhhhh someone’s on her period” ( for the record I am currently pre-menstrual) but just to try to get the upper hand on them I say ‘yeah, you wanna see?’ It works and they don’t speak to me again but continue talking amongst themselves about how I’m going to “kill all men” and I’m stupid if I think that ( I don’t). Then they begin chanting “ REAL MEN DON’T RAPE, OH SHIT, MUST HAVE BEEN A GHOST. WE ALL KNOW BITCHES BE CRAZY ANYWAYS”. By this time the lesson was ending and we were going home but my attitude to “kill all men” had changed slightly. I wanted to show them( in physical terms) the emotional pain that caused most of the girls in my class, who all heard them. On my way home I was talking to my friend who had originally stood up with me and was one of the few girls who had managed to get a shot. We had both noticed that whenever we had been running these boys who thought we were dumb and stupid could not take their eyes off of our boobs, it had been uncomfortable seeing as we had also both been told that they had crushes on us. We didn’t understand why they could be so mean but also still apparently “like” us. They just saw us as objects and I don’t know if PE class will ever be the same knowing that they might just be watching us. I used to really enjoy it.

Judit

I’m sorry if it’s hard to understand what I’m writting but I’m hungarian and I have no english language degree so I’m just try to translate everyting correctly. When I was 8 years old in 3rd grade we got a new E.T. teacher. I skipped the first week of school becaouse of my family vacation. I was a sporty girl. On my first school this teacher looked at me and told me that “If he would be in my age he would date with me” after that I became his favourite he Always took me to the sport compatitions, and had a lot of private chat with me in his office, he huged me a lot and in the class he was inapropriately touching me and My classmates and even kids from other classes. None of really recognized it he was always so nice to us and always gave us candy. Of course in the dressing room me and my classmates (when no other students where in) were talking about what a pedofile he is and wich one of us got touched this time but whe were really careful that no one could hear us talking about it becaouse we were scared if we will start to spread this sort of gossips we would get into trauble. So we kept our mouth shut. When I went to 5th grade I got a new teacher who was a lady and I really liked her. But one year later some kids from the class above us started to gossip their stories and experienses with him and it got into the teachers ear and the kids got an admonitory for telling their truth. If it’s not enuogh my head teacher who was my favourite teacher told us that he is such a great man and these kids ruining his career and that we never ever alowed to say something like that becaouse it’s calumny. I’m 14 years old now and have been sexualy assulted several other times. I have just left the school where he is theaching but throughout the years i’ve got other abusive lines from him for example I have a scar on my upper thigh and he told me that “That scar is going to be your sexepile later with the boys” or something like that. Every single one of his lines and hugs and touches are in my mind right now as these would happen yesterday. I know my story is not the most tragic and that other ladies have to deal with worse than that day by day but it felt great write it out of myself. Noone really knows what a big scar is this for me.

Vi

It took me several months to write this and post it here. I had to overcome myself to take out my pain. However, I know for sure, this resource www.everydaysexism.com is of paramount importance since it helps to destroy sexism. Everyone who writes here is a hero. Women and men who share what is inappropriate to speak openly are heroines and heroes of our time. I’m especially grateful to those men who found the courage to admit their mistakes and apologize, it deserves respect. I was six. My fourteen-year-old cousin has seduced me twice. I remembered that nightmare forever. A little helpless girl struck with horror. I’m half a meter from his lowered pants. He repeats in an unctuous voice: “Come here, touch, kiss…” I came closer and realized that he wanted me to do something bad, but I didn’t understand how bad it was. It’s very scary for a child to refuse an adult. I remember the state of numbness when you want to scream, to run, but you can’t move. I had the strength to overcome my stupor and escape. He waited for a while and tricked me into his room again but I ran away immediately. I was a six-year-old child! He calculated the situation to create an alibi for himself. My father had just left the family, and there was no one to protect me. Hardly anyone would have believed me. Of course, my mom would defend me, but this would be perceived as baseless accusations against my father’s relatives. Since then, this bastard kept his distance from me, and I kept my distance from him. He was even afraid of me; perhaps he subconsciously recognized my strength. Who else became his victim? He’s a general now. Sometimes psychological abuse is more powerful trauma than a physical one. The child’s psyche hides traumatic events, represses them. Decades later, I remembered EVERYTHING. The memory began to extract events and experiences from childhood, youth, and all my life from archives. My memory is very powerful, I remember all the details and feelings, emotions, and sensations. My thirteenth birthday. Me, my sixteen-year-old friend, a fourteen-year-old cousin (the younger brother of the pedophile), and a neighbor boy of my age went for a walk on the beach. It was in May, almost summer, at 4 p.m., a huge public beach of a large industrial Ukrainian city with a high crime rate. However, what ‘A’ grade girl thinks about crimes? There were no sunbathers, but there were enough people to wait for trouble. It all happened quickly. More than a dozen teenagers sent our boys away, I could see them turning their backs. They just left. I saw how a friend of mine, surrounded by ten guys, went to the bed of rushes, and two more took me to other bushes. I didn’t immediately understand what they wanted from me. I haven’t yet had my menarche. They began to explain what I should do, vaguely and confusingly, but I understood it quickly. My first expected reaction was a cry for help. Several warning strong slaps in my face, ringing in my ears – I calmed down. They didn’t know, neither did I that unjust physical pain triggers specific psychological and physical mechanisms in me. I distinctly remember how my mind began to perpend the situation; using the search method, I analyzed the chain of possible events. At the same time, I was thinking about my friend: where is she, what’s going on with her? The worst scenario was that they’d beat me, and I’d bite with my teeth into their stinking flesh until I gnaw through the main vessels of these bastards. I didn’t like this option, I hate the forcible touching, and even more so physical violence against my body in any form. I already knew that. I nodded, pretending to be listening to their instructions, subconsciously trying to stall for time and looking for an option with minimal losses for myself. To run away was perfect, as I already had a junior category in track and field athletics, so they wouldn’t catch up with me. I understood that they didn’t need any fuss. They thought they could handle me quickly and easily. With my peripheral vision, I found an opening in the bushes leading to the path, but I didn’t turn my head so as not to give myself away. A God of the universe, chance, or fate favored me. I noticed the silhouette of a woman with a dog. They noticed her too. When the woman came up with this heck of a place, they became silent for a moment. And I took this chance. I ran faster than any sprinters in the world and yelled louder than Krakatoa. I never turned around. I saw people turning and heading to me. I ran and continued to study the surroundings, looking for help for my friend. Several truck drivers rested on the shore, I headed to them, explained the situation as I could, and pointed my hand in the direction of the second hellish place. The men grabbed big tire levers and ran there. Everything worked out well. Was it a HAPPY-END? My friend, “our” boys and I never discussed what had happened. They probably still think we were raped. I didn’t tell anything to my mother – I knew that she’d find them. Did those bastards stop at least for a week or two? My child’s psyche took this situation for granted, as a norm of life. Is this the NORM of life on planet Earth?

Aditya

I am from sangli, Maharashtra (India),now I am 19 years old BOY.When I was 11 years old that time I faced such abusive things and I still remember that and I never shared that abusive matter happened with me to anyone still today’s day . There was one man besides my home ,he asked me for coming with him to his farm.i didn’t think that it will happen with me ,he just told me that he needs help of me ,I went there with him and after sometime in the farm he started abusing me like he was trying to kiss me that was not normal,and he told me for shaking his penis it was so horrible . Still I can’t believe that happened with me This happens with me almost 3 or 4 times in one year by same person . Now this is the 1st platform that I am sharing my such things Now feeling little bit better 🙂

Zoë

I was in primary school and must’ve been about 9 years old. There was this boy who many of the girls were scared of for being loud and pushy. One break time he was hanging around near me and my friend and wouldn’t leave us alone. He pushed his body up behind me and I felt so uncomfortable and my friend didn’t know what to do… I started crying and we went to find the playground duty teacher and told him what had happened. All he said was ‘oh don’t worry, you should be happy- it just means he fancies you’. I feel angry about it to this day

S

when I was 16 a boy at my school text me “meet me at math block tomorrow lunch, give me a blow job or I will tell everyone your a slut and make your life hell” my life at school was already hell due to bullying. I didnt go to the math block. I watched from afar he was waiting. I never replied to him. Instead I showed a teacher I trusted but she said I was being dramatic and its just what boys do. I stopped attending school. The harassment became to much. Rumours spread that i was slut. When the truth was I hadn’t even engaged in anything sexual.