My cousin story(16)= she was walking into her school when two middle aged men claimed she was a fine ass whore who they where going to make them their bitch
I was babysitting a 7 and 9 year old pair of boys. The 7 year old started to explain to me that one of his male friends did something stupid, so he insulted him in the most powerful way he knew how – “I told him he was being SUCH a girl.” These two boys live in one of the wealthiest and highly educated parts of the US, which two highly educated and successful parents- one of whom happens to be a woman. If our society begins our young boys’ education by teaching them that the worst thing they could call someone is a girl, the association of anything related to begin a woman will always be akin to weakness, second class status, and misogyny. Being a girl or a woman is not an insult. The longer we condone this type of socialization, the more we fail our young men and women alike.
When I was 10 I was coming back from using the restroom and walking back into the school cafeteria when suddenly a boy classmate the same age as me, grabs my butt quickly and smiled away. I was shocked at first and upset. I knew it was wrong and I thought about reporting this to a teacher but I felt embarrassed and scared to have to tell a teacher. We had both male and female teachers but I was still feeling bad and it was a strange feeling I didn’t know what that was and now I am older I know it was the feeling of humiliation. I was at school where I shouldn’t have to put up with this. It happened again by the same boy a few more times and I felt powerless. I told him not to but I didn’t know what would happen after I reported it. I was afraid everyone in school would hear about it and also it would embarrass my family. I didn’t think it would happen again and again. School is supposed to feel safe whether we are little girls or teenagers or college age. I never told anyone because it was humiliating.
Last year, on the way home from school I was making small talk with a boy on my bus. When we got to “hobbies” I mentioned that I did karate. His response was “Oh, nice… have you ever tried it for real though?” Bewildered, I asked what he meant. He replied “You know, like actually doing it. I mean, girls don’t do real karate. They do, like, an easier version that they can handle. You should try it out sometime, it’s pretty cool, my friend does it, he would know.” Looking back, I hate that I let him make me feel embarrassed and not good enough for something I love more than anything.
I am a girl, 14 years old, i was brought up by two wonderful parents, who encourages me to be who i am, which happens to quite the tomboy, i do quite a lot of sports and i have a bit of a masculine build, not a lot of curves, shoulders broad enough to have ruined a jacket or two. but i have the face that would resemble a magazine covergirl. And i also cut my hair short, and my grandmother among others went: “no not your beutiful long curly hair” and im the kind of person that if someone tells me something like that it makes me want to defy them even more like: you ain’t gonna tell me that i look more beautiful just because of my long hair (btw, i loooove my short hair) when school photos were being taken the photograper had the girls pose with their hands on their hips and the boys with crossed arms, i just stood there with my arms crossed until he gave up, because i dont take shit like that, if i dont wanna pose like your pretty little doll, you cant make me. i remember something else at school, a stage was beeing set up in the schools gym and there was two heavy board thingies that needed to be broulgt to the gym (it was about a 200 metre walk) and the man in charge called out “im gonna need four strong boys to lift these”, only three boys showed so i thought what the heck i can help so i went over there like: “i can help” and the man just looked at me and then said “these are heavy i think we need a boy to lift it” and i dont take shit like that, i was wearing a tank top and you could see that i was strong and i looked at him kind of savagely and went: “well im pretty sure i can lift it” and so i did, with another boy, who was perfectly content to be helped by a girl(i wanna say kudos to the boys at my school, most of you are pretty cool, and accepting of a girl like me, the grown ups could learn from you). what im trying to say here is: i do sports, and i get near perfect grades, and i could do a lot of cool things with my life, so why do people fuss over the length of my hair, or try to protect me from lifting something heavy.
My brother was practically ignored by his college when he became depressed and had severe anxiety about his coursework, even being called “lazy” when he had a panic attack and had to leave his classroom. Tutors and others had the attitude that he wasn’t trying hard enough when it was obvious to me that he was unwell. Eventually he was diagnosed with severe depression, he eventually recovered but he never went back to that college. I am really angry with the college, and can’t help but wonder if he’d have been treated differently and recieved more support if he was a girl. There is a huge problem with untreated depression and other mental health conditions in young men which can have tragic consequences, places like this college are not helping.
I wa cat called three times in one day – the last time was by the driver of a van coming out of a school near my home. I snapped, flipped them the bird, called the school and made a formal complaint, and then spent the next day worrying that they’d be back at the school and they’d recognise me. I walk that road at least twice a day, and my paranoia is so bad that yesterday I walked to work with two bottles of water in my bag in case they threw acid in my face. There have been a lot of acid attacks in the U.K. recently, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Male boss called me “bitchy” (to my face, in front of other people, and tried to play it off as a joke) in response to feedback I gave him regarding sexist remarks made about other coworkers at a prior meeting. When I tried to explain to him why it was sexist he claimed that he has also called a male coworker bitchy.
I came into school a few minutes late one day, and as I walked in a male student happened to be standing there, waiting to check in late too. The assistant principal, a man that delighted in being cruel to me, stopped us both, looked me in the eye, and accused me or having sex with the other student in the parking lot. He did not accuse the male student, and when we both denied anything like that happening, he ignored the other student and told me that I shouldn’t be “doing anything” that would get me in trouble.
I’m sick of being told that men don’t get jobs or accepted to classes because less qualified women got their spots due to some diversity program. I’m sick of hearing how every one of my (very few) female co-workers in tech only have their jobs because they are attractive. Do they think this about me too? How do they all seem to know they are better than every woman (typically whom they’ve never met) that gets chosen? Why were other men placed if that was the case? Just because you were rejected doesn’t make it someone else’s fault. I’m rejected all the time for things and I don’t go around saying it’s because I’m a woman. Every time a man says this, I feel as though they are referring to me. It leads me to respect them less as a peer and a coworker.