School

Isabel

Year 1 class pupil couldn’t believe he’d lost a race against a girl because “boys are faster and better than girls at sporty things”

Chloe Leanne adduocchio

I was raped at 11 I was at boarding school in Exeter. The year was 2002 the boy was 14. He was very tall and chunky he scared me. I was short and very slim. I tried to keep out of his way as best I could i’ve been visiting one of my friends after the school day had ended as i past this boys room on the way back to where I was sleeping he called out to me i said hello and carried on walking next thing I knew A large hot hand gripped hold of my shoulder and pulled me backwards. I saw the bedroom door frame past me and it first I couldn’t understand how that worked then I heard the door shut I felt the floor beneath my back. I tried to get up but I got kicked and he said stay where you are I want to talk to you. The room stunk I remember it was also really warm in there so the smell was even stronger stale sweat and something else I could not think of describing. He started telling me how much he really likes younger girls they’re always much better than the old ones. I wasn’t sure what you was on about better than the old ones at what? I found out very quickly. Younger girls are better than the older girls at shaking in fear or perhaps it was not saying a Word whilst he pinned me Down rammed his penis his penis between my lips. 20 minutes later I found myself running down a path going away from the boarding house the boys occupied my lips are sore my leggings or not on properly one leg seem to be higher than the other the back with rold over on itself my knickers were wet and at the time I couldn’t understand how they were wet Time I understood because it is dick in my mouth and then fold my leggings and knickers down just enough so he could shove it between my legs and come seconds after penetrating hadn’t registered the pain until I got back to my room and I was looking for a clean pair of knickers there was blood as well. I never told the staff what happened I told a friend months later that was the last I spoke of it for 17 years then I started telling people my story whenever I felt I was able until this moment I have never told the full story I’ve only ever told the part where I’ve had to choke on his penis. I did hear whilst I was at college years later the guy was arrested and sent to prison for assaulting his niece and nephew who would’ve been about the same age as I was when it happened to me.

Anon

My list of male abuses is very Long As a child I was sexually assaulted many times. By a school teacher, a neighbour, a lawyer, my uncle, my brother and a sales man. I saw flashers, had my backside groped, horrid sexual jokes and language, sexist jokes and so on. I thought for years it must be something about me. BUT I absolutely now know it was the pervasive systemic culture of our country that allows boys and men to think this is all ok. I continue to be shocked by how common this still is. Woman continue to be blamed and often I hear people say it is so different today. It is not. We continue to say of rape victim “she was in the wrong place at the wrong time’ . NO SHE WAS NOT! Stop blaming the women. She had a right to be where she was and only when we start holding men and the system accountable will this change We need to think deeply about our unconscious bias, what we say and how we challenge. How we support each other to challenge and be brave

Cal

Told by a friend to gain weight so my breasts and butt would be bigger

anna

In high school, my male track coaches would play red light-green light with our high school male athletes, rating high school female athletes by how “hot” or “ugly” each girl was and how “fuckable” they were. When I reported this to our male athletic director, a man who had been checking myself and other young girls out starting in 7th grade, he did absolutely nothing. Nothing ever came of it.

Lucy

When I was 11 in my first week of secondary school, I was walking to school when a group of boys who were 4 or 5 years older than me approached me and my friend and started walking next to us. We told them to go away and all but 1 did. He started making moaning noises while his friends called after him “Don’t worry he’s jut a pedophile”. When reported to school a male teacher dealt with the complaint and said that it was “probably just a joke” and that horrible old phrase “boys will be boys”. It made me so angry and I still see them walking around my town years after.

My List

– When someone online threatened to rape me (12) – When i was groped at a festival (13) – When i was wolf whistled by men as i walked home at night (13) – When i got sent my first unsolicited dick pic (13) – When a man honked and cat called me from his car, when i was with my family, and my mum was proud of me (14) – When my older cousin made jokes about me being ‘on my knees’ because i wore ripped jeans (14) – When i woke up to see my older cousin watching me as i was sleeping (14) – When an old man asked me (15) and my younger sister (13) to touch his penis, as we were trying to have a picnic in the park – When a boy in gym class grabbed my backside and then laughed with his friends at me (15) – When i was cat called by a car of boys at night (16) – When a group of boys surrounded me on the bus and rated my looks and body out loud (16) – When an older man came up to me at the library, and started complimenting my looks and body “you look European” (16) – When i was waiting tables and people would stare down my shirt (16-17) – When i was groped at work while waiting tables, and when my dad picked me up from work he said “All women find themselves being groped at some point in their lives, just like men find themselves in a strip club at some point in their lives” (17) – When my co-worker followed me to my bus stop, to see which bus route i took (17) – When my manager asked me if i was a virgin (17) – When my older manager would give female employees shoulder rubs/ back massages when they ‘looked tired’ (17) – When an older man stared at me for the entire bus ride home. An elderly lady behind me pointed his staring out to me (as if i should be flattered) and he agreed with her, that he thought i was attractive (17) – When, just after i had sex for the first time, the boy asked me if i wanted to give him a blowjob. I repeatedly said no, but he kept asking. Eventually he took his penis out, and held it up to my lips until i did (18) – When i was groped the first time i went clubbing (18) – When a man knocked on my door when i was home alone to ask for a massage (18) – When my close male friend from high school texted me, after months of not talking, to ask for nude pictures (19)

Nicky

I was told by girl coach in football training to do “girl press ups” which meant kneeling on floor with crossed legs and bending from the knee down – what makes this a girl press up??

Madeleine

Was told that i should’t show any stomach at school because ‘what about the boys and the male teachers?’

Hazel

I go to school with a very small group of children. I’ve never been much good at making friends, but recently I’ve made a friend group that consists, mainly, of boys my age. They are sweet, but I’m dying. Nothing I say is as funny as it would be if I was a man – I can’t stand their sexist jokes, they make me feel stupid and small, and I feel like if I say something I’ll be the buzzkill. I love them so much, but I hate how they can act. I just wish I was a man. Not because I’m not proud of being a woman, but because existing as a 15 year old girl is one of the most hopeless, exhausting, sickening experiences I’ve ever had. I’m always tired, I’m always angry, I’m always sad, and I think I wouldn’t be if I was a man.