One man to the other man at work: I need this right now. Other man: I’m too busy right now- in a slightly annoyed but assertive tone. Other man feels embarrassed to be rejected in front of peers. Says: She’s a bit moody today. Referring to man as a woman. Trying to shame the man by calling her a woman, as we all know only women can be moody.
I live at home with my sister and parents and attend the local community college. My older sister recently graduated from university and is now back home while she looks for a job. Every single day, she makes a sexual remark to me. For example, she will look at my body and make a comment. “Your ass is so small.” “I want to take a picture of your ass.” “Your thighs are skinny.” She will also make comments about my choice of clothing. “Are you wearing underwear?” “Are you wearing a bra?” “That shirt shows off a lot of skin.” “Those leggings are inappropriate.” The list goes on and on. What bothers me is that this is my sister, she’s only a year older than me, wears mostly the same thing i wear, and just graduated from a very liberal, “progressive” university that prides itself on teaching people about these kinds of issues. She acts like she is so open minded, progressive, and “aware”, yet she perpetrates her sexual harassment on a daily basis. She is a woman, criticizing me for being a woman, and shaming me for wearing women’s clothing. I don’t even know where to begin processing this.
Thought I’d share because it may seem minor to some, but things like this, no matter how “little” they seem, are important to shed light on. Where: in geography class. Our school is a bit nonsensical and sexist when it comes to seating and has a “boy, girl, boy, girl” policy. So I sit next to a boy who won’t be named for obvious reasons. I’m used to the usual “lad” bullshit, and so are the other girls. But anyway, on Monday last week, the boy who sits next to me begins talking to a boy on the row behind us, someone I’ve actually known for years. They begin to discuss one of the trips they went on the year before, a totally normal conversation. Suddenly, the focus strays onto a female teacher, who happens to be one of the physics teachers. They begin to talk about how she was “flirting” with one or two of the male teachers on the trip, and then began calling her dress “slutty,” asking one another how “slutty” the dress was, and then proceeding to rate this woman out of 10 on her appearance. All while I, someone these people are otherwise perfectly okay with, sit there right next to them along with 3 other girls. They speak like that in front of another female freely, knowing there are no repercussions for their sexist behaviour and language. Fast forward to today, and they start it again. We were all moved into our new science sets in the morning, so we were all asking each other how we did and whether or not we were doing separate sciences. I asked the boy behind us (same boy as last week) what new science teachers he had. He told me, and then began to talk to the boy next to me again, the conversation then turning to a teacher they wanted for chemistry. Why? Because they thought she was eye candy. “I’d just spend the whole lesson looking at her tits and arse,” and then, “let’s be honest, we’d never get any work done in her lesson.” Direct quotes. Sitting there, speaking like this, right in front of me. Just to put this in perspective with some context – in a school in the UK, in the year 2017, these two boys are 14 and 15. Misogyny begins early. Please, if you have children, it’s vital you teach them respect and act as a role model from an early age.
Just heard Laura on NPR with Leonard Lopate… Which everyday sexism do I want to share? There are so many. I went to the emergency room for mental health reasons and was put into a psych ward where I was told to put a hospital gown over my clothes because there were men in there. I went in and ONLY the women had gowns over their clothes. Men were wearing their normal everyday clothing. On top of that, a woman who was obviously very disturbed was menstruating on herself and no nurses helped her. Why did I have to put a gown on and feel that I was the one who was the problem (and shamed for dressing inappropriately- apparently that’s leggings and a long sweater) when it was the men in the ward who were the problem. Maybe if a man was deemed a danger to women he should not be with the “general population” in the first place. Nope, the easiest way is always to change women it seems.