Street

Leyla

|

So i (15f) have a cousin (20f). A few months ago my cousin was going to her home when the brother of a close friend of hers harassed her. He was really drunk. She told him in a ferm voice to leave her alone. He kept bothering her and stopped when she called her brother and the guy heared a male voice. This al happened in a slim and a bit shady street. Today the topic came on and my grandmother got mad at my cousin for even going into that street. I got upset when I heard her say a thing as such and told her it was not her fault that it happened and that if they wanted to blame someone they should blame the guy who harassed her. She again said that she should have taken that path home (the fastest and easiest route) and that her mom told her before she should take another path. When I repeated myself she turned around and told me I should stay out of it and shut up. I of course got mad at her and told her that she was only telling me to shut up because she knew I was right and that she was a sexist. My mom yelled at me and I just went to another room ’cause i couldn’t take it anymore. My mom always tells me that she’s sexist but that i have to accept it because she’s old. She’s in her 60’s. When we were alone half an hour later my mom told me that i should remember where I stand and that I was disrespectful.

M

|

Okey so im 14 years old and for the ones that are interested i was wearing sweatpants and a fucking top. I was walking home alone and i was one block away home when this guy (he was maybe 26) slowed down his car and yelled at me lots of disgusting stuff about what would he do to me if i was his… I was so scared and feeling useless and helpless. I kept walking when i saw that this guy turn around his car and began to whistle at me in a seductive way. I started running while i was calling my dad crying, i told my dad to open the door so i could run inside. I was so desperate to get home and never come out again… Luckily i got home safe and sound, but what if i didnt? What about something happened to me and i could never come home again? Now i dont walk alone on the streets because im afraid that something might happen to me. That feeling is one of the worse things i ever felt. This shit has to stop

M

|

Okey so im 14 years old and for the ones that are interested i was wearing sweatpants and a fucking top. I was walking home alone and i was one block away home when this guy (he was maybe 26) slowed down his car and yelled at me lots of disgusting stuff about what would he do to me if i was his… I was so scared and feeling useless and helpless. I kept walking when i saw that this guy turn around his car and began to whistle at me in a seductive way. I started running while i was calling my dad crying, i told my dad to open the door so i could run inside. I was so desperate to get home and never come out again… Luckily i got home safe and sound, but what if i didnt? What about something happened to me and i could never come home again? Now i dont walk alone on the streets because im afraid that something might happen to me. That feeling is one of the worse things i ever felt. This shit has to stop

Lauren

|

A man kept pushing his groin against me when I was on the bus. While hiking and climbing up a ladder, a man above me pulled out his phone and tried to take a photo down my shirt. While walking down the road, because I glared at a man that was trying stare at my bum, he spat at me. While getting out of an elevator with only men in, one man started barking at me and the other men supported him. When I told a man at work that I was in a relationship to get him to back off, he told me that because it was long distance I should still sleep with him. When I spoke to my HR manager about the sexual harassment that was occurring regularly, they informed me that an email would go out to everyone about it and it would be discussed with all the staff. No email was ever said, or if it was, no department discussed it with the workers. When I went to the gym as a minor, men would adjust themselves to better positions to watch me exercise.

Maë

|

I was fifteen, it was the end of the day. I was going home with a friend who lives not too far from me. It was getting a bit dark, but we didn’t mind. Two men a bit far behind, I would say in their 20s (definitely not kids our age), started cat-calling us. We grew quite silent as they got closer. When they got to our level, the both of them split so that they would be on both of our sides. They complimented us on our bags (which they touched), our clothes, our bodies. My friend chuckled awkwardly, and I froze up (like I tend to do when taken aback). The guy on my side started laughing at me, saying that I was actually not that pretty with the (prominent) acne on my face, and other awful remarks. They eventually left us alone. Me and my friend laughed it off, split up and went back home. This night, I made my first suicide attempt. When I came home, I immediately went to my room and cried silently. I took a random, unopened box of pills from the bathroom and locked myself in the toilets. Nobody really noticed anything. I bid my family goodnight, hugged them a little bit harder than I would usually do, still no one really saw anything coming. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful, went to the living room where my mother was fortunately still awake and told her about the pills. I spent three days in isolation in the hospital… I remember vividly the moment when I came back to school after all of this, where no one was aware of what happened (I think so). I entered the school, and immediately rushed to hug my two closed friends at the time who welcomed me happily in their arms. Eventually I had to leave them to go to the director’s office to talk about my absence. As soon as I walked away from my friends, a boy who used to bully me started mock-mimicking me hugging my friends… Before he left me to meet up his own.

Walking at night

|

I love walking in cities, especially at night. But every time I come back from a friend’s place and it’s dark, I ask myself : Do I take the short way through the park or do I walk 5 more minutes to be in more crowded streets where I feel safer? I once got called a slut several times by a group of guys because I wouldn’t talk to them. There was no one else in the park except for an old man a few meters away. Usually, I still take the short way but the closer I get to the park, the more cautious I act. I always feel very angry to have to ask myself this question when a guy wouldn’t.

tired of trauma

|

The first time I was sexually assaulted I was 16 in the metro in Paris. It was summer so I was wearing a skirt. I was with a friend, I had already passed my ticket so I was waiting for my friend when I felt my skirt rising up, I looked behind and there was this man looking under my skirt. I was shocked, paralyzed, I screamed but felt unable to defend myself or hurt the guy. It was daylight, there were lots of people in the metro. No one. NO ONE said anything, not even came to comfort me or ask me if I was okay. I cried and did not want to go out anymore, I felt dirty. I accepted it, I said to myself that this guy was a drunkard and he didn’t do it to me in particular, but it could have happened to everyone. I now understand how this reasoning is wrong. What traumatized me again was when a night of May last year I was going back home by myself, it was 3 a.m. I had a bier and I felt completely safe. I was on the phone with my friend, we decided we would call each-other while going back home. I was about to cross the road when I felt someone right behind me. He threw me on the floor, grabbed my bag, and started punching me. He managed only to steal my phone. I considered myself lucky because I wasn’t raped. I still today undervalue what had happened, I say to everyone that I was lucky nothing more had happened. But this is so fucking wrong. Still, nowadays I never feel safe, nights trigger my anxiety. I always considered myself independent, I used to love traveling solo, being alone. But now I just feel unable. Sometimes when it’s nighttime I don’t even go out to grocery shopping. And I am so tired of this, sometimes I would just like to write to who attacked me and tell him how he made me feel, and how I am still feeling today. I am tired of hearing friends being catcalled or discriminated in any way. I am so tired of people not reacting when they see someone being attacked.

Marion

|

So last year. in the night of the 7th to 8th of september 2017 I went home alone from going out. I really had to pee and went into this constuctionwork next to the street. It was about 4:30 am. When i was finished and turned around the corner of this blue container there he was. He grabbed me by my arms and pushed me against this container. I screamed and tried to push him away and hit him on his chest. He didn’t really seem to care about that but there were these dogs barking because a woman went out with them and as they turned around the corner he left. I was standing there, not really realising what just happend. The woman didn’t bother asking what happend or if I was ok. So i proceeded walking home. I was devastated. I called a friend and talked to him the whole way home. It was good to not be alone although he also asked me what I was wearing….. I think i really was traumatized by this experience. I didn’t want to be touched by anyone a long while after that. I couldn’t touch myself without thinking of him, although I don’t even really remember what he looked like. He was about 30 to 35 and had a dark three-day-beard. I did not report it to the police and I feel bad for that. Even when the chances that this guy would get caught are really small, I at least would have tried. I did not tell this story to a lot of people. I felt dirty after it. I could not whash him off. I don’t like how I still think of him. I don’t like how i have problems with physical contact. Expecially with men,… Because of this incident I became really aware of how I don’t stand a chance against most of men. Being with someone became really difficult. I just don’t know if I can trust him. Sometimes i feel disgusted by touch. I get goosebumbs and shivers when someone touches me or if I just think about beeing touched. In the end he didn’t even really grab my boobs or anything but the knowledge of what he intended to do is there. I don’t like these memories. And I don’t like how they start to fade away… This might have been the worst incident. I know it will not be my last one. And this one and the stuff that happend makes sex not easy. Physical contact is a difficult subject. Going out sometimes is troubling. I just want to be kind of normal.

Mila

|

Hello, Laura, Since I moved to a new area I’ve constantly had men wolf whistling at me and groping me on the train I use to get to work. On one of these occasions where a man groped my bum, I told my boyfriend. Once I told him one thing, I told him every incident. I explained to him the countless scenarios I endure on the way to work, on the way to pick our children up or even the casual walk with our dog he got angry and didn’t realise. He told me that I should’ve told him earlier but the fear of him telling me to “take a joke” or ” its a compliment” scared me. After confiding in my boyfriend I felt a lot stronger and confident. So, one very early morning around 5 AM ( The time I leave for work) a man was jogging down my street and wolf whistled at me. So I turned around and howled. he looked at me and who evidently shocked.

m

|

a few months ago i was walking down the street alone in the afternoon. I passed nearly by a gay and heard him saying ”ohhh yeah come on, touch me” and things like that. That moment i felt like my head was about to blow so i looked at him and asked him loudly ”did you say something or i misunderstood???” . He was not expecting that, he looked so embarrased and answered to me ”No didn’t” and walked away kinda scary. When i told my female friends about that, they told me that no one of them could ever do what i did ’cause when it happens to them they just walk away, like i did since this day.