TimesUp

Audrey

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A USPS male worker was extremely condescending to me because I had issues with the card reader reading my chip. When we finally finished the transaction he printed out the receipt and said in a really condescending tone, “Ok, put this in your bag, and take your two legs and walk out the door, and then make sure to not tilt your head and put it under the wheel”. Please note, I am a succcessful Business woman who has a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. I also was a great mood and friendly to him while he was condescending even before the card reader issues. I just asked, “Why are you saying all this to me?” A woman next to me said, “She sure told you!”. He said “I’m being funny because…” and he pointed at the card reader… basically implying I was an idiot. I said, “It was not funny. It was kind of condescending.” I am 45 years old and look like I’m in my 20s, so I get a lot of men who talk down to me. I was admittedly quite triggered by this point and just said “I’m 45 and have been around.”. Not the most eloquent close, but it was the best I could do because this interaction really disempowered me and I was at a complete loss for words. I share because I do believe this behavior has been accepted and normalized for far too long. Thank you for creating this safe space where we can share our experiences and unit and hopefully change the world!

Tamara

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I was on the train this afternoon, with a friend minding our own business and chatting as per. Standing behind me (on a not very busy carriage) were a group of teenage boys. Ignoring their sneering at us, myself and my friend continued our conversation. It took a good few seconds for me to realise what it was that felt a bit strange. The guy standing behind me was stroking my bum. I know this is a sad reality and regular occurrence for many public transport goers. But this has never happened to me. And why should it? Out loud, I challenged this stranger in front of the crowd saying “this guy just touched me inappropriately and felt my bum”. 3 things : 1) I was shocked that no one batted an eyelid. Although tbh retrospectively I guess that’s fairly normal. 2. the stranger and his group of friends were all laughing and encouraging each other with inappropriate suggestions directed at me. Motivated by his “joker” friends or to prove his masculinity, he moved his way closer to us, trying to intimidate us. 3. If I were with a guy, they wouldn’t have dared touch me. Even though this group of “laddish” teens were significantly younger than myself, it didn’t stop me feeling extremely vulnerable. I wasn’t dressed provocatively (not that it would matter anyway), just in jeans and a coat to my thighs. The fact that he touched me where my coat covered, made me feel even more uncomfortable. The fact that these boys were laughing and without a care in the world that they had just made another person feel so uncomfortable, will probably never cross their mind again. And they will probably do that again to someone else undeserving of that feeling. I know most of you are fed up with all the sexual assault and harassment allegations that have been flooding the media. But it’s things like this. Young people and bystanders normalising this totally inappropriate and disgusting behaviour. Luckily I had my friend with me who told them what she thought of them- although it clearly didn’t make an impression on them as they responded with “choke me, choke me”. So I guess what I’m saying is that, we have to stop this epidemic of normalising sexual assault and what may seem like banter/jokes, could be really damaging to someone else. We have to carry on educating and raising awareness. Why can’t people be respectful to others? And why can’t others speak up when they witness something wrong?