I was on the train this afternoon, with a friend minding our own business and chatting as per. Standing behind me (on a not very busy carriage) were a group of teenage boys. Ignoring their sneering at us, myself and my friend continued our conversation. It took a good few seconds for me to realise what it was that felt a bit strange. The guy standing behind me was stroking my bum.
I know this is a sad reality and regular occurrence for many public transport goers. But this has never happened to me. And why should it?
Out loud, I challenged this stranger in front of the crowd saying “this guy just touched me inappropriately and felt my bum”.
3 things : 1) I was shocked that no one batted an eyelid. Although tbh retrospectively I guess that’s fairly normal.
2. the stranger and his group of friends were all laughing and encouraging each other with inappropriate suggestions directed at me. Motivated by his “joker” friends or to prove his masculinity, he moved his way closer to us, trying to intimidate us.
3. If I were with a guy, they wouldn’t have dared touch me.
Even though this group of “laddish” teens were significantly younger than myself, it didn’t stop me feeling extremely vulnerable. I wasn’t dressed provocatively (not that it would matter anyway), just in jeans and a coat to my thighs. The fact that he touched me where my coat covered, made me feel even more uncomfortable. The fact that these boys were laughing and without a care in the world that they had just made another person feel so uncomfortable, will probably never cross their mind again. And they will probably do that again to someone else undeserving of that feeling.
I know most of you are fed up with all the sexual assault and harassment allegations that have been flooding the media. But it’s things like this. Young people and bystanders normalising this totally inappropriate and disgusting behaviour.
Luckily I had my friend with me who told them what she thought of them- although it clearly didn’t make an impression on them as they responded with “choke me, choke me”.
So I guess what I’m saying is that, we have to stop this epidemic of normalising sexual assault and what may seem like banter/jokes, could be really damaging to someone else. We have to carry on educating and raising awareness.
Why can’t people be respectful to others? And why can’t others speak up when they witness something wrong?
