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I went to NYC to visit my cousin for three weeks. I was so excited. For clarification, I just turned 21 so I was allowed drink there. I figured the best way to see a city was to date the locals as my cousin was working a lot and I had to entertain myself. It was fun, and there was one guy I even had a second date with. I went back to his after the date to sleep with him, no shame. However, I was woken up after we’d fallen asleep to him being inside me. It hurt a lot. I asked him ‘what are you doing??’ and he didn’t answer. I tried moving him off me but he was stronger than me. I asked him to stop… he didn’t. I was scared, so after struggling for a while and getting no where I just let it happen. I remember him specifically asking me to ‘show him some affection’ angrily. So I did out of fear. And I suppose he took this as condoning his actions. I went back to my cousins in the morning, quiet and heavy. I haven’t told anyone. for fear of being judge as I had drank with him and consented previously to the first engagement of sex. But not the second.