Category Archives: Everyday Sexism

everyday middleagism

I fear for my grand daughters and nieces – I have given them Lauras books so that will guide them and also terrify them but when you get over 50 you don’t just get sexism but ageism – very sadly often from young women who are very aware of racism, sexism and all the other gender isms but ageist sexism seems to come from both boys and girls – she has let herself go, dancing at your age, mutton dressed as, what would you know, you are stupid, all you did was stay at home and look after kids….it seems perfectly acceptable to say these things to women over a certain age and happens daily my own teenage niece said people over 30 should not be allowed to vote as the future was nothing to do with old people. I have been told by young mums in our village that they don’t want any more old biddies here and that the old foggies should not be put first – that is so offensive to people who have supported society for decades and enabled them to have things they never had – as you get older all you get is more isms! girls of all ages should support each other – at my middle age you are still supporting the youth while looking after the elderly – we are too tired to complain so I don’t think they realise how exhausted and fed up we are with the burden of responsibility. Women my age have always had to work full time but nothing has changed in the home we still look after the house and family and there is no sigh this is going to change. All my friends are in the same drudgy routine of constant caring and working – we just want to a bit of respect and consideration from the generation we have raised – we are exhausted, menopausal and have health problems – we are the work horses in society but treated with total disregard If Laura does not mind myself and my mates want to set up a middleagism group as we just feel forgotten nobodies

Frustrated

My manager made some outrageously offensive comments about the clothing of a female professional in a meeting last week. This kind of thing has been going on for years, despite my organsiation being in a sector that means staff working there really should know better (shouldn’t they all??). For some reason last week when this happened I just snapped and called him out on it – in front of four other colleagues. Nobody backed me up, and my manager seemed livid about being challenged. He has arranged for us to meet tomorrow to discuss the ‘obvious frustrations’. He has no idea that his sexist comments are at the top of my list. I’m so cross that I have to spend most of today preparing for the meeting tomorrow, when he is the one in the wrong, and I am already so overwhelmed in my role. I’m using Laura Bates’ article in the Guardian in April to galvanise my thoughts, and it helps me to know I am not alone. Thank you Laura for providing this platform and for all the work you do.

Enough

Heather Watson might be a Wimbledon mixed doubles champion, but sadly that doesn’t stop her from facing cruel comments about her looks. The 25-year-old lost a three-set match against German player Annika Beck at Wimbledon last year and was swiftly subjected to online abuse focusing on her weight and appearance. Now, almost one year on, she’s hit back at those who judged her. “Sometimes I wish I could look cute on court but you can’t, you’re just hustling and fighting and that’s the job we have and it shows that we’re strong and that sport isn’t just for boys,” she told the Radio Times. “And sport definitely isn’t about looking perfect.” JULIAN FINNEY VIA GETTY IMAGES Heather Watson Watson is a first class athlete. Last year, she became Britain’s first female Wimbledon mixed doubles champion since Jo Durie in 1987 – the last time a British woman had won Wimbledon singles was a decade before that in 1977 with Virginia Wade. Discussing the appearance-based expectations female tennis players (and women in general) face, she said: “We tennis girls are all fit and healthy but we’re on the court with no makeup, and sweaty – we aren’t celebrities who have people on hand to do makeup all the time. “I actually love wearing sports clothes, having my hair tied up in a bun, not wearing makeup and I think more girls should feel comfortable in their own skin and not have to cover themselves in makeup all the time.

Chloe

I was once talking to friend of mine on Snap chat. He asked if he could see a picture of me smiling since I was upset about a family matters. When I sent the picture he replied with “you have very nice cleavage. I’d love to see what’s underneath that top”. At the time I didn’t really think much of it. I had heard of many girls in my school being commented on about there appearance and whether they were sexy or not. Now looking back I realize the comment he made wasn’t okay or wasn’t acceptable or normal. So now whenever a guy asks me for any nude photos I simply say “How would you feel if your mum or sister or aunt or cousin was asked the same? Do you think it would be right for them to send nudes? Do you think it would be right for them to be harassed for photos?” and this makes them think twice about it. I’m really pleased that I can tell my story and reading everybody else stories has inspired me to speak up about every day sexism and to tell women that its not okay to be objectified. Thank you for reading my story.

Robbie

I accompanied my half Chines wife to get her passport photo taken. I was standing in the shop behind the male photographer silent. He paused just before he took the picture and turned around to ask me if it was for an English passport. Because how could my wife possible know?!?

Let’s Be kinder

There’s a new trend of video on you tube called “makeup deception” where they show a young woman plain faced and then full faced very good, with professionally applied makeup – before and after. Why the hell is it deception? Basically saying it’s dishonest and unfair to men to pretend to be prettier than you are? You literally can’t win with the make up thing. If you don’t wear it you aren’t making an effort or are a prude or hate men or a chav skank. If you do wear it you’re a tart or desperate Now if you wear it incredibly well you’re being deliberately dishonest to the poor male victim? Implying he was only interested in talking to you because he thought you had model looks? But now look what he’s stuck with? Patronising to most men who are being let down by a very loud laddish minority. “Makeup Deception”. Warning the lad boys that women are false. Be they don’t have “tie deception” for smartly dressed men.

Park Prick

My mom, bro, niece, and I were walking on the Rail-Trail (an old train track that is now a long trail that stretches through the state). My niece is 4 so her and I were walking slower about 15 ft behind my mom and bro. Out of the blue this man comes up and yells “Excuse me sir! Do you know what railroad this used to be?” I turned and the only guy around was my brother. I answered the man but he looked right by me and waited for my brother to respond. Rude.

Molly Walker

I was sitting in my Spanish class at school, we were made to use the computer during this lesson and we were told to use a languages website called ‘Languages Online’. I soon stumbled across a vocabulary activity about members of the family. One specific activity was about jobs mother and fathers have. They were two separate activities and both have examples of jobs that a mother or father might have. Examples of a fathers job were ‘farmer, policeman, doctor, fireman… etc’. Examples of a mothers job were ‘nurse, hairdresser, secretary, receptionist, primary school teacher’ and the list goes on. But wait, I’m saving the best for last… UNEMPLOYED. According to this website, only women can be unemployed and let’s still not forget, women also can’t become fire fighters or doctors, only hairdressers or secretary’s. Wtf

Sue

This is one of those niggling little examples of sexism. That constant drip-drip-drip of of casual sexism dressed up as ‘humour’ or ‘light-heartedness’ that really gets under the skin…. Sky News today reported on the newly-built HMS Elizabeth leaving a shipyard in Scotland and heading into the open water. Because of the vast size of the ship, there was only 14 inches free space either side of the ship as it passed through a gap. Kay Burleigh commented “They probably need a woman to navigate it”. This is so insulting to all the sons and husbands out there who are perfectly capable of navigating a huge ship – including MY youngest son who is currently serving a a first officer on a container ship. There is absolutely NOTHING to suggest that a woman can navigate better than a man, or vice versa. This kind of casual ‘humorous’ sexism MUST stop!!

c

Ever so often when I, an early career academic, work together with male colleagues they imply that their priorities, and hence their work, are more important that mine, and that they are busier than me, even when we are on the same career level and have the same amount of duties. This is also true for some of my friends, who tend to be men rather than women: whenever we envisage a meeting, it is them who wish to set the priorities. Of course I do make it clear that I have my priorities as well. But this is rarely taken as a given.