Hafsah

Growing up in a Pakistani family,
where does one start.
For one the boys and men are treated like princes in the home, and with this comes a entrenched aura of entitlement throughout their pathetic lives.
Some of the struggles a brown girl may face, constant slut shaming even for the most mundane and conservative articles of clothing, leading to having to leave the house wearing one thing and carrying clothes you actually want to wear in a spare bag.
Being expected to constantly clean and cook at family gatherings, whilst the men bask in their own privilege picking their noses.
Not being allowed to travel alone abroad, leaving to missed out on experiences and a narrow world view and experiences.
Lack of bodily autonomy, god forbid a brown girl is sexually liberated or open minded to not marrying their cousin or the fucking village elder.
The run of the mill racism and homophobia, a story of a family friend running away to marry a black man bringing shame and stigma. I for one have been chastised and even prohibited from speaking to many of my black friends.
Colourism yes, racism lite as I call it, the darker the uglier and the fairer the pretty, what is beauty standards without rampant colonialism and self-loathing
Being told you can’t get certain jobs and earn money for yourself because “it isn’t safe for young girls”
Spending the best years of my life at home, because night is the domain of the man, forget having a social life outside of the family lexicon.
A family member explaining how she was groped at a family funeral only to be asked “how were you standing though”
Just casual dinnertime anti-antisemitism and talk of “jews taking over the world”
So many more instances of double standards and patriarchy confined within a cesspit of religion and male hegemony, but i dont have all day.
Final thoughts
How does one reconcile western values with forced upon, antiquated notions of right and wrong
When is one allowed to just be without cultural constraint or judgement