Kathy

First, I have to tell, that most of my friends are Boys. I don’t know why, but they are. We have been friends for more then ten years now and I really love my friends. But sometimes I just want to Punch them. It all atarted about nine years ago when we were all about 17/18. We watched Eurotrip and there is this Girl who is always refered to as “A cool dude with long hair” and “Not a real girl”.Since then, they projected that on me, telling me constantly that I am “not a real girl” and that I am “more like a guy” to them. When I was Young and stupid, I took it as a compliment (They certainly mean it as a compliment), but now that I am older and more educated, I see it as the Sexist behavior that it is.
Yesterday, one of my friends said: “Women are so annoying. I just don’t get them.”. I said: “Hey, we aren’t that bad”. He looked at me puzzeled and told me: “Not you, I mean real Girls.”. So I asked him, what he meant by “Real Girls”. “You know, this whiny, entiteled bitches. They don’t get anything, they only care about Looks and they are so emotional and irrational. You are more like a dude, you know? We can talk to each other without you having a breakdown or wanting to have a relationship with me. We can drink beer together and joke around. A girl would never be like that. I wish I could find a rational woman to be with. But they just don’t exist”. I pointed out to him that he would never find a “rational woman” to be with if he just doesn’t view them as women and that the Point is that he is afraid his girlfriend could be smarter then him or more educated and so he wouldn’t be able to talk down on her. We had a very Long discussion about gender don’t being a “biological” issue to him but more an issue about prejudices and gender roles. He, who sees himself as the most rational being on earth, was a Little upset but promised to think about his views towards women. We’ll see…
I like to Point out that not only he engages in this behaviour. A lot of my male equaintences do that. It affects not only me, but my husband as well. Because they don’t see me as A “real woman”, they don’t see him as a “real man”. There are a lot of gay jokes (Bad, no matter what the circumstances- come on guys!) (Wich they say are not about man having sex with man- they say they don’t care and that love is love, but about “gay behaviour”- whatever that means)and jokes about him “being the girl in the relationship”. You know- all the emasculating bullshit, because obviously there is nothing worse then being a woman on this earth and “girl” is the biggest Insult…
I am glad, that my husband isn’t stressed out by that stupid bullshit at all, but calls it out with me.
I feel really bad that for some years now, I have contributed to Misogynie by actually feeling flatered for beeing seen as “not like other Girls” and “a cool dude with Long hair”. I will no longer keep up with that crap. Listen guys: Woman are not hysterical, whiney, irrational beings and you are not the ones deciding who is or isn’t a girl. Humanity is divers. You don’t get to Label someone who doesn’t fit inside your worldview. Shut up!