The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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Ffs

Heatwave in Iraq

““We don’t know what to do. Men can go to the pool here but what do we do with our women…?”

You encourage them to go to the pool and cool off too? You stop sexually harassing them when they want to swim?
Sexism means suffering far worse in heatwaves if you’re a woman

Alex

I am a girl, 14 years old, i was brought up by two wonderful parents, who encourages me to be who i am, which happens to quite the tomboy, i do quite a lot of sports and i have a bit of a masculine build, not a lot of curves, shoulders broad enough to have ruined a jacket or two. but i have the face that would resemble a magazine covergirl. And i also cut my hair short, and my grandmother among others went: “no not your beutiful long curly hair” and im the kind of person that if someone tells me something like that it makes me want to defy them even more like: you ain’t gonna tell me that i look more beautiful just because of my long hair (btw, i loooove my short hair)

when school photos were being taken the photograper had the girls pose with their hands on their hips and the boys with crossed arms, i just stood there with my arms crossed until he gave up, because i dont take shit like that, if i dont wanna pose like your pretty little doll, you cant make me.

i remember something else at school, a stage was beeing set up in the schools gym and there was two heavy board thingies that needed to be broulgt to the gym (it was about a 200 metre walk) and the man in charge called out “im gonna need four strong boys to lift these”, only three boys showed so i thought what the heck i can help so i went over there like: “i can help” and the man just looked at me and then said “these are heavy i think we need a boy to lift it” and i dont take shit like that, i was wearing a tank top and you could see that i was strong and i looked at him kind of savagely and went: “well im pretty sure i can lift it” and so i did, with another boy, who was perfectly content to be helped by a girl(i wanna say kudos to the boys at my school, most of you are pretty cool, and accepting of a girl like me, the grown ups could learn from you).

what im trying to say here is: i do sports, and i get near perfect grades, and i could do a lot of cool things with my life, so why do people fuss over the length of my hair, or try to protect me from lifting something heavy.

Suzannah

I was jogging up a lane in a Sussex village a couple of days ago. A young man was also out for a run, he ran past me from the other direction. As he passed me he clapped and whooped me. I initially felt mortified, he could see a 40 year old woman struggling away, deserving ridicule. Now I realise he would never have done that had I been a man.

that woman

Out and about with my grandaughter aged 8 1/2. We’re at a car show, looking at some bubble cars. An old man wants to attract her attention, and decides that the best way to do it is to reach past me with his stick and poke her on the bum. He’s wanting to tell her that these tiny cars are for children – which would have been quite funny, if he’d gone about it a different way.

It happened very quickly, and I wasn’t sure exactly where he’d poked her until we talked about it afterwards (but really, is it appropriate for a stranger to poke a child anywhere with a stick??). But we talked about it, we agreed that he was very rude, and we decided what we would do if something like that ever happened again.

Rachel

Im becoming kind of a regular with posts about incidents on my run. The last time I wrote about something that happened was about 3 days ago and I’ve only been on 1 run between that one and the one this morning. As usual, I was out running by 5:20am but changed my route as I do often to ensure my habits couldn’t be learned and no one could plan to follow me. Things were going well and I was about 10 minutes from home when I saw a car driving down the road towards me. I knew something was wrong when it slowly came to a stop before it reached me and I noticed the driver window was down. I had heard about others who experienced this and had terrible things happen to them so knew the best thing to do was try to not look vulnerable in any way. I slowed down my pace and stared down the man inside as I ran past without breaking eye contact. He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Feeling a little more confident, I heard him drive on and i kept running. Then I heard him turn round. He was slowly driving back down the road on the side I was running and had stopped again a few metres behind me. Despite how terrified I was I knew that I still had to look like I wasn’t scared in the hope of convincing him that I wouldn’t be worth the fight if he was thinking of attacking me. I stopped running and slowly crossed the road in front of his parked car, making and holding eye contact with him, then with one final glare, ran on down a footpath where his car couldn’t follow.
What happened this morning was the most sinister thing that I have ever experienced. Usually men sound their horns or shout or laugh but this one stayed absolutely silent though his window was down and just slowly followed me down the road. It terrifies me to think of what might had happened if I had forgotten what I had read and hadn’t tried to show him that he wouldn’t have beaten me in a fight, if I had run past without looking and shown that I was trying to get away from him when he turned around. By slowing to a walk and making eye contact instead of trying to remove myself from the situation, I hope I showed him that I wasn’t scared of getting physical and he thought twice about whatever he was going to do, giving me the chance to get to the footpath. I’m still going out tomorrow though. He’s not going to stop me doing what I love.

Grrrrr

I love cats and just clicked a link of pages to cute and funny cat pictures, underneath them are “hilarious” wardrobe failures of women newscasters and minor television females

Wtf?
Why the obsession with making women look stupid and sexual when they aren’t trying to be? I’m not interested in being shown tops too tight or skirts riding up clearly by mistake it’s not funny it’s just leering and creepy and they dont want to be shown like that either. I know women have boobs because I am one, It’s hardly a novelty, just a part of my body I prefer not to show. But I still got leered and laughed at when I dropped something down my top.
Who’d be a female on tv? And how come it’s never an accidental testicle from shorts ? Which is pretty common in real life but you avert your eyes, you don’t take a photo.
If a minority of men are dumb and leery enough to enjoy this nonsense why not target it to people who click on something ruder, not to cat lovers. I thought ads were targeted. These are just normal women doing their jobs not silly model types but they get no respect and it just reminds you that however modestly you dress you’d better watch out. You are meat, you are consumeable. It never happens to males because men get automatic respect.
Now let me watch kitten videos.

Ella

As I clicked into my YouTube account today I was confronted with a thumbnail of a woman smiling, unknown to her, with a maniac standing behind her, chainsaw at the ready about to kill her. It’s a joke apparently.

I hate violence and I did not want to see this. It was an advert for smartphone company ‘OnePlus’.

Incidentally, it’s not the first time I’ve seen an advert on YouTube in which a woman is about to be attacked by a man with a chainsaw.

The previous time was a seated woman in a dark room, confused as to her location, who is suddenly attacked by a man who jumps out wearing a ski mask, holding a chainsaw. The ad was for an online gambling site. Again, I didn’t want to see it, but it played before a song I clicked to watch.

I complained to YouTube (Google) on both occasions and was met with deaf ears.

Yesterday I saw a real news item whereby a male jogger in London randomly pushed a woman into the path of an oncoming bus. Lucky she was not killed.

There is a definite pattern.

Grrr

I just posted here about the wardrobe malfunction pictures that mugged me, less than ten seconds later I look at the telegraph and the front page is all about an actress who’s boobs were accidentally exposed on tv – a story that the telegraph has been running for three days now – and how she had such a good sense of humour and didn’t mind at all!

Bully for her. We all get it, we’re supposed to simper and smile while men hypersexualise us and it’s our fault and our lack of humour if we feel threatened. She’s an actress and they tend to get naked in public but most women aren’t and were supposed to not mind?

Seriously this used to be a respectable paper now it’s like the Sun with longer words. Three days news about a woman’s breasts being shown? How are females supposed to keep up with what’s going on in Iraq or Syria or with Trump when they are having to filter this shit out?

The telegraph hates women, don’t buy it, don’t click through any adverts.
I’m not even clicking it online any more just in case it makes money.

More overexposed female bodies in ten seconds than overexposed male ones in twenty years online.
And no I don’t have a sense of humour about accidental nakedness but then I’ve been groped too often for that.

Minor bug

Tilda wrote “telling a woman that she doesn’t know her own ethnicity and culture is mansplaining at its worst.”

And I’ve had the same experience with my friend who looks Portuguese but isn’t! Mansplaining about a girls race or heritage IS a thing! They try to guess where you are from “originally” and when you say they are wrong they correct you – how much overconfidence is that!
Because obviously the completely random male stranger would know better than any woman.
I know my friend her parents are both white English and her grandparents, I’ve met them, but hey if a random man says you are Portuguese don’t contradict him…. it happened to her quite a lot, not just once.
it’s just weird, of course it’s not a big deal but just one little bugging addition and I wonder what is really going on psychologically. Some people just have to dominate, but you’ve got to admit it’s a weird thing to insist on being right about.
They should be teaching boys at school to back down gracefully when wrong instead of sticking to their guns. Macho nonsense.

anonymous

My brother was practically ignored by his college when he became depressed and had severe anxiety about his coursework, even being called “lazy” when he had a panic attack and had to leave his classroom. Tutors and others had the attitude that he wasn’t trying hard enough when it was obvious to me that he was unwell. Eventually he was diagnosed with severe depression, he eventually recovered but he never went back to that college. I am really angry with the college, and can’t help but wonder if he’d have been treated differently and recieved more support if he was a girl. There is a huge problem with untreated depression and other mental health conditions in young men which can have tragic consequences, places like this college are not helping.