Tag Archives: groping

Eloise

Two years ago I was at a night club in which we realised very quickly that we didn’t want to be there. My three friends and I were dancing and enjoying the music when some guys (pretty much a minute after we entered the club) crowded around us in a circle and started dancing behind us. At first I just shook it off, men alway do this in clubs there’s nothing I can do about it, but I felt them get closer and closer and I felt so claustrophobic and felt like I couldn’t dance without them thinking I was dancing up against them. All of a sudden one of my friends turned round and headed for the exit. We followed her wondering what was wrong. She said, in tears, that one of the guys had put his hand up her playsuit and grabbed her bum. We decided to go home and I remember feeling so angry at men for thinking they can just do this to us, like they have a right to our bodies! I was saying this to my friend when all of a sudden a large group of people (of mixed genders) passed us and one guy from the group passed me and grabbed my genitals and then just proceeded to walk down the street with his friends. My friend and I were so shocked, and I didn’t even react at first as it was so sudden then by the time I did he was far away. I just remember feeling so scared in that moment. Feeling like I was so helpless against men’s innapropriate desires. I, as a female, am physically weaker than most men and I felt so exposed to the idea that that man could have done way worse to me if he wanted and there was nothing I could have done at the time. I was just glad I had my friends there with me.

Grace J

Freshman year in college I was in my dorm with a good friend I had met that year who lived down the hall. He had just come back from a party and was drunk. I was sitting on my bed and he told me he likes to cuddle when he’s drunk. I remember verbally resisting and him continuing to try and convince me he just wanted to cuddle. I eventually gave in and let him lay behind me in bed. At first he was just hugging me then started moving his hand up my thigh and touched my crotch. I was frozen. My girl friend at the time was out in the hall with other people and I wanted to get her attention, but I was so scared I felt like I couldn’t speak. I don’t know where I got it, but I remember throwing a shoe at the front door to get my girl friends attention. It didn’t work. I rarely tell this story because I always felt it wasn’t worth sharing like other women have had way worse happen to them and I shouldn’t complain.

Louise

I was at a concert at 16 years old in the standing area in front of the stage and some guy started groping my bum and stroking me up and down my legs. I moved away to try and escape him but he followed me and started doing it again. Had to literally push through so many people to get away from him because he wouldn’t stop. I felt so embarrassed and rude for pushing past all those people but I had not other choice.

Public space nonsense

Back when a student, riding a train back to my hometown. Some guy sits next to me and suddenly starts to feel up my thigh. Unfortunately for him, I was also reading a 900-page textbook and promptly slammed it on his hand, which made him stop, but we definitely shouldn’t have to resort to that. Also random old guy stopping me in the street and offering me 20 quid to sleep with him. And guys calling me a fat ugly slut for not dropping everything and letting them shag me on the spot. I’ve stopped counting.

Candice

Sitting at a friends house drinking. We were all about 19-20 years old. I was with my best friend and a guy she had been sleeping with. She was head over heels for him. She stands up to use the bathroom and he immediately starts trying to kiss me and stick his hands in my pants. I stop him and say, “Stop you are with Kylie.” (In a much nicer tone than he deserved) He then stands up yelling to the whole room, “What the hell?!? Like I’d want to fuck around with your ugly ass!!” I was so completely mortified and truly hurt that none of my friends stood up for me. I took Kylie aside and told he what happened. She shrugged and went back to him.

Carla

I was in Barcelona for a friends hens weekend. I was in a nightclub standing in a queue to get drinks for the girls with another friend. I have a big bum in comparison to the resentment of body and if normally gets slapped but this time a guy cupped it and groped it. I turned around and I didn’t know who had done it. Then it happened again and again I didn’t know who did it. A third time it happened and I saw who did it and I went to him and I said, “don’t you fucking ever touch my bum again or I will make you feel sorry that you were born with hands”. I don’t normally swear but I was so angry. Later that late all of the girls where dancing in a circle and a guy came and groped me by putting his whole arm under my dress and squeezed me by my panties. When I turned around I didn’t know who it was and the girls hadn’t seen it as at that point they were already a bit drunk. I know it didnt matter what I was wearing but I was wearing a long dress which was close to covering my knees but it was tight. Even typing that annoys me because it’s like I am defending why I shouldn’t be touched. Why should I be treated like an object for a mans amusement when I get to feel humiliated and made to feel uncomfortable. How is that funny? How would those guys like it if they were in a gay night club and got touched inapproapritely?

Hana

My best friend Morgan wore her backpack extra low for the last three years of high school because there was a popular “game” of groping the girls; it was so normal in the school (a US school in Texas) that nobody really reported it.

Marion

So this happened when i was about 6 or 7 years old. Now i am 22 an i only recogniced it as sexual assault a few years ago… I was in a swimming bath and this perhaps 12 year old boy dived by and rubbed his hand between my legs… This must have been the first time i ever encountered sexual harassment and it took me really that long to realise it.

J

Clubs seem to be acceptable places in a guys mind for public, non-consensual, ‘casual’ groping. In crowds, they will VERY often over the course of a night pass behind you whilst just lightly stroking your butt (or just above, but close enough that you can feel where those hands want to be). Depending on where I go, this sometimes happens near constantly. You have to be hyper-aware of everyone around you and by the time it’s happened and you turn around to call them on it, they’ve practically disappeared into the crowd. On the odd occasion that you catch them, there’s little you can do but give them a dirty look. I’m not exaggerating when I say this can and has happened to me every three minutes or so (or more sometimes) on some nights. I did once punch a guy in the face for it (he went for a full on grope), at which point I was called “frigid” as he tried to make out that it was on ok thing to do; a compliment even. After dealing with way too much of it, I’m now really selective about the places I go as I know where I’m more or less likely to get groped now and avoid the places where it’s most common. The only place I actually feel safe to go and dance, be myself and actually have fun is in one of my cities gay bars. I’m straight. I shouldn’t have to choose where I go based on the local groping probability!