I was looking for a vintage camera on eBay. I found a seller listing the model I was looking for so sent them a message asking how clear the viewfinder is. He responded by sending a photo of the camera and his penis. He pretended that he didn’t know he’d done it and ridiculed me when I confronted him.
When I was about 14 years old I played a lot of online multiplayer games, and I met a guy there who I started ”dating” online. He was more interested in sex than other guys I had dated online before and so he kept nagging me for pictures of my breasts. I eventually gave in and sent him one but with a bra on. He continued to ask for me to remove it even though I told him no. I didn’t give in that time which I’m very happy about. Another thing that happened was that he wanted me to watch him masturbate (on cam). I said no at first several times but then just agreed and did it. I’m in my twenties now and I’ve never told anyone about this (until now). I don’t even think I realized that it was sexual harrassment even though I eventually agreed to it. Agreeing just because someone is nagging you to do something is not proper consent, and that took me a while to understand. I hope that someday I will feel comfortable and secure enough to tell someone I know about this because it really weighs you down to feel ashamed of this bad thing someone did to you that wasn’t your fault.
This happened to a friend, who is 14 female. She was on snapchat and a much older guy tried to hit on her, her girlfriend and herself start to call him out in the text messages. This also wasn’t the first time a older guy tried to hit on her since she had snapchat. (FYI to hit on someone is to flirt with them)
A guy I studied with in school was talking to me online. I guess he was interested in me and I said something about not being very good looking when he said I have nice titties and that’s all that matters. I said I was creeped out and he said don’t be. I blocked him. I brought this up to my best friend later on and he was so uncomfortable about it and asked me to change the topic
Our school has a keyword system on the computers that cannot be overided where if you search or type any keywords such as “g*n” or anything else deemed innapropriate it won’t let you search or click on certain websites. I wouldn’t have a problem with this because I have no reason to search anything like that and it’s for our own saftey, however when I was searching for your book “Girl Up” it wouldn’t let me search because of “keywords”. I then typed “Girl Up by Laura Bates” and it was still a keyword that wouldn’t allow me to search. I removed everything I had typed other than the word “girl” and unsuprisingly that was the keyword. Infact me typing this submission right now has probably come up in the system. I then typed “boy up” and “boy” out of curiosity and “boy” isn’t a keyword. STOP OBJECTYFYING GIRLS JUST BECAUSE SOME DUMB TEENAGE BOYS MIGHT SEARCH THEM UP!!!!! And this is SCHOOL
Boys sometimes tell me to “shut up woman” and “get back to the kitchen and make me a toastie” and that “your opinion doesn’t matter because you’re a woman”. Everyone expects me to take it as a joke, and I know it isn’t a big deal but it really hurts. I’m only a teenager, and I kind of feel ashamed of my gender just because of what boys shout at me.
Almost forgot, the number of times I’ve been told I have a dirty/sexual laugh or that my voice is perfect for sex lines (the first time I was told the latter I was 17 and it was by my 30-odd year old boss when giving him the regional numbers over the phone). I have also witnessed grown men say very inappropriate things to a 13 year old online and even use the defence “she was flirting with me” at which point I blew my top and said so what, she’s a ******* (swear word) child. YOU as the adult in that situation are the one who is supposed to know better. I even told them that behaviour and justification of it is typical of paedophiles and that they were no better than a paedophile. If someone had asked me at 18 if sexual harassment was a problem, I’m not sure I would have said yes because tbh, I didn’t understand what the boys were doing then was sexual harassment – sexual assault and rape weren’t (and technically still aren’t) openly discussed subjects. We were told “oh its because he fancies you”. Ah, so that makes it okay…does it? Who cares how I feel about it, his desires are more important even when it comes to my own body?
I have a modestly successful YouTube account for Disney fan videos, and a Facebook page to accompany it. All today I’ve been getting messages on the Facebook page from someone who calls themselves Donna, although their profile says Jacob and they claim Jacob is their brother. But then I started getting messages from “Jacob” himself, under another profile, and he started telling me to text him, call him, etc. and eventually said he wanted to “give my butt a slap.” I immediately blocked him – both profiles, as I am no longer sure if I was actually talking to a girl named Donna. I also blocked them on YouTube to ensure my own safety. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t create more profiles and continue to harass me, especially since reporting doesn’t do much good.
I was thirteen, which was too old for the massively multiplayer online game I was playing. For some background, you play a cartoon animal with a customizable appearance. That animal can take four actions, two of which are called “Sleep” and “Hop.” I knew from my research that some players used those actions to simulate sex—one animal used “Sleep” while the other jumped on top of them, usually with heart emoticons involved. This being a children’s game, it was a horrifying piece of trivia I’d filed away, nothing more. It was winter, and there was a fireplace in one of the public rooms your avatar could enter. I put mine to sleep next to the fire and left her there while I stepped away from the computer for a moment. When I came back, another player was jumping on top of her, sending me heart emoticons. Someone playing a rabbit ran by with the message that it was gross. I rather shared the rabbit’s sentiment. I felt sick. I moved my avatar, got the offender’s username, and reported him, but the feeling of horror didn’t go away. My avatar’s name (as naming customs went in the game, to prevent anyone from giving out their real name online) was “Empress Fierymoon,” but that was the only indicator anyone might have had that I was female. I’d even been mistaken for a boy a few times because I hadn’t customized my avatar to look particularly female. She was a seal and the other player was a wolf, two animals that are not even remotely sexually compatible. But the fact that she had a female name and was lying down in a public space was enough. That was all the other player needed. And, yeah, this was a game aimed at very small children. I was thirteen, but I might have been ten.
Researching to fix my motorbike often leads to riders’ forums. It’s a bit tricky to focus on the technical details when someone’s avatar is a looped gif of huge titties jiggling.