I was dating a guy I met online, he is from North America and I’m orginally from South America. He had ways of approaching that at times were sexists and inappropriate, but always covered by some sort of “dark humor”, so I didn’t pay much attention to it, also since they were almost always within certain sexual or flirtatious context I convince myself to don’t take them so seriously. But now we stopped seeing each other about 6 months ago, occasionally chatting over internet, and last night in the middle of a normal conversation over internet, he said to me “you’d look hot with a dress showing off that full latina bum”. I felt so small, so insignificant, just reduced to a stereotype that does not belong to me. Such a small phrase made me rethink and review the months we were together. I’ve fight against the macho culture, all my life. But I never felt objectify by someone I was actually dating. And now I feel guilty and as it is my fault for allowing him to treat me that way from the very begging.
My boyfriend keeps on telling me how women are inefficient hence they are payed less. He also tells women are so unimportant that they can never be a part of a movie like “James Bond” where she will display her wit. He also randomly shows me posts which say that according to Forbes magazine list of top 100 CEO only one is a woman and laughs at it. And when I get upset hearing these and react sharply he says it’s all a Joke I don’t know how to take jokes I want every to be serious. It’s just his joking and cheerful nature that makes him tell all his.
i can’t stand the way my boyfriend acts toward me i love him so much but he is so sexist whenever we plannify our after marriage life he is always telling you have to do all the houseworke and when i suggest split it btw us he is like NOOOO that’s your work im a man its impossible i cook or something have to sit and pkay while you can’t cause just im a man and youre the girl plus he said that i don’t have the right to name our futur children and the worse im an engineer and he want to stop my career saying that i should do yhe housework and take care of children after giving birth and that a lot for me i can’t roll withthe punches anymore but i love him son bad
This was the last time I had been raped, it was only a few months ago. I had been screwing around with my ex boyfriend for some time. During our relationship he was manipulative and abusive, he was after too. I don’t know why I stayed around, sometimes I think I was just lonely. One night I had called him and said I was depressed and needed a friend, just somebody to hold me. I came over, we watched movies, cuddled, I made us grilled cheese, it was nice. We went to sleep late that night, I worked the next morning. I woke up to him having sex with me … while I was asleep. I told him to get off of me, he did not. Afterwards I was ballistic, I told him, for the millionth time, it was not okay. While we were dating he would do this a lot too, wait until I fall asleep to have sex with me, often finishing while I was still asleep and only waking me up to tell me he came inside of me. This was the last time that happened, and it was also the day I got fired from my job. Because I was being raped, because I could not get him off of me, because he would not listen, I was late to work by 20 minutes. It was my third time being late past acceptable time in three years. I told my boss what had happened and she believed me, she was worried, and only wanted to help. She told me I can always call her and stay with her and that I was not alone. Her male boss on the other hand, said they needed an example, and though he was sorry about what happened, I had to be let go. So that day I was raped by an ex, fired from my job, and all of my friends were gone at a concert that I was suppose to be at. I requested that day off, was granted it, they gave it to someone else. If I was given my time off like promised maybe none of that would have ever happened, maybe if I could just let go of my ex, maybe I would have never been raped before work. But the truth is, he was raping me long before that, I was just too scared to ever do anything about it. He texted me the other day for the first time since that week. He asked how I was, I answered. I really should not have. Maybe this time I will block him so I can finally heal.
I was used for sex by an ex boyfriend. It was a complicated codependent & toxic rship. During it my ex partner would coerce me for nude pictures, shame me, insult me, threaten me amongst other things. When I lashed out after his abuse mixed with my own mental & physical health issues, came to a head, he got me arrested. One of the male policemen watched me get dressed to get taken down to the station, & at the station another made indecent jokes about ‘not killing yourself’ whilst in my cell. I also have had another ex partner continuously stalk me on & off, sending me sexually aggressive messages & dick pics.
when I was in year 9 I was with my boyfriend who was two years older then me and we were in private when he started kissing me (I had never kissed anyone before) then he started rubbing my lower area and I started crying, he didn’t take any notice of this and continued going. I didn’t tell anyone about this till a year latter when I decided to tell one of my close friends. When I told him his reply was that’s not that bad.
I was dating a guy a few months ago, he was so sweet at first. But about a month or so in, he got so mean and rude. He would call me a hoe and a slut and make all those sexual comments towards me, saying what he wishes he could do Whenever I told him to stop, he would get mad and start yelling at me, claiming that he was only joking around and didn’t really mean it. It got to the point where he said those things everyday and if I did something he disagreed with, he would resort to using those words. It eventually got to the point where I wouldn’t even respond, I just got quiet and never talked when we were face to face. One day he wouldn’t stop with all the jerk comments, so I broke up with him. Even though I did it over text, which I wish I hadn’t, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I was in a relationship with a guy who would”joke” and mock all my beliefs in feminism, gay and trans rights etc. He’d tell me he was definitely right and went so far as to tell me that I had to agree with him because he is a man and I am a woman and women should listen and submit to mens wishes. He would pressure me into sex and if I said no my reason had to be good enough. He would joke about hurting me. he’d wrestle me and tell me that I was weak and couldn’t fight my way out or he pull out a knife and pretend to threaten me. He would fight with me about wanting to sleep with other women or “side hoes”, he used shitty sexist language all the time. He broke up with me and told me he never wanted to see me again, I got black out drunk at a friends birthday when he wasn’t speaking with me and he took me to his house (after I threw up on the bus) and raped me when I while I was unconscious. Sexism starts small and gets big. It’s easier than you think to be manipulated by someone you love, I was 17/18.
Content warning: Sexually aggressive themes Ever since early high-school I hear from friends and the media that women like men who are rough and mean. I’ve grown up on a steady diet of porn that tells me that women like to choke on d*ck and be spanked and pushed around. I overheard a girl in my secondary school saying that she got bored of her boyfriend being nice and wishes he would call her a bitch. All girls I’ve ever been with have been sexually submissive. It leaves me feeling scared that if I’m too nice, I will lose the person I love. My girlfriend stops me when I half jokingly tell her she’s ‘my bitch’ and when I’m too aggressive in bed I’m grateful for that because I never want to hurt her.
When I was 15 with my first ever boyfriend after only two weeks he forced me into a sexual encounter. The first time I ever ‘took part’ in foreplay he held me down and when I protested he said ‘just let me’. I knew it was wrong and he manipulated me into thinking I was over reacting. He told me after a month of us being together he felt we should have sex. At 15 I was entirely not ready for this. He said all of his friends had had sex and he would have to soon. He made me feel he would leave me if I didn’t. After less than two months he forced me to have sex with him. Every time I would say no he told me ‘just wait; you’ll like it soon’. I never felt able to tell anybody about this or even acknowledge it as what it was which was sexual assault and rape. Your project is so amazingly helpful to women who feel the same as I did. Thank you