This was the last time I had been raped, it was only a few months ago.

I had been screwing around with my ex boyfriend for some time. During our relationship he was manipulative and abusive, he was after too. I don’t know why I stayed around, sometimes I think I was just lonely.

One night I had called him and said I was depressed and needed a friend, just somebody to hold me. I came over, we watched movies, cuddled, I made us grilled cheese, it was nice.

We went to sleep late that night, I worked the next morning. I woke up to him having sex with me … while I was asleep. I told him to get off of me, he did not. Afterwards I was ballistic, I told him, for the millionth time, it was not okay.

While we were dating he would do this a lot too, wait until I fall asleep to have sex with me, often finishing while I was still asleep and only waking me up to tell me he came inside of me.

This was the last time that happened, and it was also the day I got fired from my job.

Because I was being raped, because I could not get him off of me, because he would not listen, I was late to work by 20 minutes.

It was my third time being late past acceptable time in three years. I told my boss what had happened and she believed me, she was worried, and only wanted to help. She told me I can always call her and stay with her and that I was not alone.

Her male boss on the other hand, said they needed an example, and though he was sorry about what happened, I had to be let go.

So that day I was raped by an ex, fired from my job, and all of my friends were gone at a concert that I was suppose to be at.

I requested that day off, was granted it, they gave it to someone else.

If I was given my time off like promised maybe none of that would have ever happened, maybe if I could just let go of my ex, maybe I would have never been raped before work.

But the truth is, he was raping me long before that, I was just too scared to ever do anything about it.

He texted me the other day for the first time since that week. He asked how I was, I answered. I really should not have. Maybe this time I will block him so I can finally heal.