Hana
My best friend Morgan wore her backpack extra low for the last three years of high school because there was a popular “game” of groping the girls; it was so normal in the school (a US school in Texas) that nobody really reported it.
sexual harassment
Anon
It’s been a few times where I walk on the street and these men approach me either bumping into me as though it was an accident, or purposely coming close to me even if I try to avoid them and whisper something in my ear in another language I don’t understand. I feel angry, I feel like I should’ve done something to avoid it, but in the end I realise you can’t. It’s everyday sexism, and although I am angry about, I have to learn to accept it and live with it everyday.
Jamie
First time I was sexually harassed was when I was 14 by a boy who was 16. He thought it was okay to hit my butt because i walking up stairs in front of him.
Anonymous
I was sexually assaulted by two people on separate occasions in year 8. I had my breasts groped publicly during lunch break as I was walking towards the library. I felt shame and humiliation, and I was confused why no one noticed; what made it awkward was that after the incident we walked in same direction and he would turn around with a big grin with his mate. On another occassion,a guy put his hand on my thigh in class and asked if i was wet; i had no idea what that meant but I was petrified as he used to casually physically and verbally attack me. It was not my fault; i accept that, but i still cant seem to forget. When i experience harassment in my adult life or reading about it on social media it still triggers memories. That is my main regret was not speaking up from primary school to when I finished sixth form; i was an easy target for gossip even from people younger than me. I am still fearful of putting my name out there in case they read it somehow.
Lily
There have been multiple instances on nights out with my friends where what I say to men who hit on me isn’t respected. Almost every time I’ve been hit on and I’ve told them I’m gay, they haven’t respected that – they’ve straight up ignored me sometimes. One time, immediately after I told a guy I was gay, he invited me back to his house to have sex with him. With my most recent incident of this him and all of his friends didn’t take me seriously, and I ended up being raped by the guy who had hit on me. It’s gotten to the point where saying I’m gay just doesn’t feel like a no, it doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t feel like I’m really saying anything. But the actual fact of the matter is that lesbians are so highly sexualised that we’re just presented as a challenge, that we secretly do want it. It makes me feel so sick and angry.
P
Letter sent to junior school 06.02.18 Dear Mr A I am writing regarding the behaviour of X. I am sure you are aware of some of this, but presumably not the whole extent. I feel that X needs some help to understand what is appropriate sexual behaviour and language, and what is not appropriate. Inappropriate sexual behaviour that I am repeatedly being told about is: Complete lack of understanding of personal space – getting right up to the girls’ faces. Unwanted touching Unwanted kissing on various body parts Unwanted hugs restricting girls’ arms and attempts to push him away Looking up girls’ skirts Shouting ‘smooch alarm’ and running up to people kisses them against their will. Going under the table when someone was getting changed and licking their leg. Inappropriate sexual language (to my daughter (aged 10) this term) is: You are my wife/girlfriend We have kissed We have had sex Whose skirt shall I look up today? This has been reported by Girl 1, girl 2 ,girl 3, girl 4, girl 5. This is sexual harassment and cannot be allowed to continue. Boys can no longer be allowed to behave like this and girls cannot be expected to tolerate it. Boys need to be educated in how to behave and girls need to be educated to speak out when this happens and not accept it. The current situation is a very unhealthy environment for both genders in the classroom. This behaviour has been escalating over the years and I have suggested writing to you and previous teachers before but (daughter) did not want to make a fuss. Frankly, now he is old enough to know better, but instead of getting better, it seems to be getting worse. I understand that you will be doing sex education after the SATs and I would ask that, given that this behaviour is occurring daily, a strong emphasis is placed on the importance of consent. If this behaviour carries on into (secondary school), I suspect that X is heading for some unpleasant treatment at the hands of someone’s older brother/father/boyfriend, at best. At worst he is heading towards a criminal record, which will not reflect well on either school. I am not asking for him to be moved away from (daughter) in the classroom. She assures me that she can look after herself and has regularly had to push him away from her, physically, and has been involved in several scuffles with him, as have the other girls. His words have upset her more. She has been embarrassed, upset and confused by it and has not known what to do or say. I am asking that someone speaks to him directly about this behaviour and that the staff as a whole ensure that it is not allowed to continue. He needs to understand that this behaviour is damaging to the girls, a very bad example for the other boys and will, if it continues, get him into a lot of trouble socially and legally. I would ask that the girls in the classroom are also spoken to about this and are told clearly that it is not acceptable and that they have some way of reporting the incidents as they occur. This could be verbally or written anonymously, preferably both. This could be a good opportunity to put some measures in place to ensure that this doesn’t happen again and to prove that the school takes safeguarding seriously. I would like to be informed of what steps have been taken. Kind regards
Big Four
I worked at a Big Four accounting and audit firm, and a partner invited my whole team out for drinks after work one evening. At the end of the evening, he cornered me and attacked me. He very forcefully tried to rape me, but I managed to escape before he could. I reported it to the company and the police. The police are investigating. There were no witnesses – he’s not stupid enough to attack a woman in front of other people. There’s no physical evidence of his attack because I stopped him before he could rape me. Ironic, isn’t it, that protecting myself from rape means the rapist can go free. The Big Four firm did a half-assed investigation and said it’s “he said, she said”, so they can’t take any disciplinary action against the partner. Then they let me go from my job. This is what happens in a male dominated industry, where partners are masters of their own domain and basically impossible to fire as they’re not technically employees. So who gets fired? The victim. Nice. Don’t believe a word when you read these Big Four companies talk about how female-friendly they are. It’s just good marketing.
Big Four
I worked at a Big Four accounting and audit firm, and a partner invited my whole team out for drinks after work one evening. At the end of the evening, he cornered me and attacked me. He very forcefully tried to rape me, but I managed to escape before he could. I reported it to the company and the police. The police are investigating. There were no witnesses – he’s not stupid enough to attack a woman in front of other people. There’s no physical evidence of his attack because I stopped him before he could rape me. Ironic, isn’t it, that protecting myself from rape means the rapist can go free. The Big Four firm did a half-assed investigation and said it’s “he said, she said”, so they can’t take any disciplinary action against the partner. Then they let me go from my job. This is what happens in a male dominated industry, where partners are masters of their own domain and basically impossible to fire as they’re not technically employees. So who gets fired? The victim. Nice. Don’t believe a word when you read these Big Four companies talk about how female-friendly they are. It’s just good marketing.
Lucy Molloy
I was on a bus home alone late at night in South London and was on the phone to my boyfriend. I often call him when I’m in these circumstances as it makes me feel a bit safer. Whilst on the phone this random man said excuse me very loudly. I turned to him wondering what was wrong. He said ‘When you get off the phone you need to talk to me.’ I said ‘Do I? Why would that be?.’ He said ‘Because I have a nice face, and you have a nice face and we can talk about marriage and babies.’ This man was about 50. I’m 24. I would have loved to have told him to go fuck himself, but was worried in case he was getting off at the same stop as me and if he was going to follow me once I got off the bus. I turned back and started talking to my boyfriend on the phone again and very loudly joked about the ludicrous man old enough to be my father who wanted to marry me. I think the man felt a bit embarrassed after that and luckily he got off way before my stop. I’ve had a lot of similar experiences with men thinking their harassment is light hearted and ‘just a joke’ I find it so frustrating because for me nothing about these experiences are amusing. Being made to feel unsafe everywhere I go is not funny, it’s disgusting and it in infuriates me that there don’t seem to be any public awareness campaigns on public transport and no formal channels to report these instances of harassment and prosecute these individuals.
eMarie
Went to a concert. Man in the crowd said to his friend, “man look at all the hot girls here.” Man then called out to me, “Hey baby….” I turned and as he leered at me as if he was raping me in his mind. I hurried off with no reply. I hoped he hadn’t followed me. I hoped I hadn’t made him angry.