Im a 15 year old girl. As of now, ive only had 2 boyfriends. The first of which many of my friends seemed to strongly disapprove of, making harsh comments until I called it off. Now, Ive just gotten out of my second unhappy relationship. Except this one was longer. And more intimate. To a certain extent, I blame myself. Perhaps I forced myself into it because I wanted him to be happy. On the first “date”, he began kissing me. A lot. It was my first kiss so I suppose I was happy to experiment, and im young and stupid as it is with social interactions. Then, on the same night he began to slip his hands in between my thighs. To begin with, I didn’t mind too much to be honest. On the second date, he continued these things, but also began lightly groping my chest area, which creeped me out a bit but I just shrugged it off because its ‘normal’ and I had such a low self esteem and self confindence for my body, that I looked at it as ‘if he funds happiness in it then i guess im also happy’. But it was the third date where he took it too far. He would grab by arse, despite me politely moving his hand away multiple times. He kept positioning me between his legs and opening my legs for him to lie in between, which probably made me the most uncomfortable of all these things. He would randomly stop and look down at my private areas with a sort of blank, yet thoughtful look which made me feel dehumanised, as if he only saw me as a possession of his for his own pleasures. I would also swear on my life that his hands brushed over my crotch, he purposefully would rest his head (facing downwards) on there too. He slipped his hand under my bra at one point too. Then, when he was leaving, he pushed me up against my bed and lifted my shirt up, proceeding to lean in as if to kiss by chest, although to be honest I feel like ive kind of blurred it out, so I couldn’t say for certain. I felt so disgusted and sick that I went straught to messaging the friend I feel I can trust most. To this day, I’ve never told anyone the whole story, although I have gradually told more people the vague story. The worst part, in my opinion, is that my friend claimed to have been assulted by the same guy years before, but we mostly assumed she had exaggerated, as she’s often a drama queen. Ignoring her is my biggest regret. Its sickening to realise that guys assume they can get away with it. And its worse to know they can. Personally, I cant do anything about it. I dont want to. He’s depressed anyway, and with GCSEs coming up I font want to cause any more stress for him, even if im struggling everyday with the reminders. I want him out of my life, but its so gard when he has the same friendship group. He needs to be stopped in the future. Boys need to be brought up realising this isnt ok.