A younger colleague in his mid 30s has for 5 years been excused of behaviours such as bullying, intimidation, incompetence, bad judgement and insulting clumsy rudeness…very often with a slight smile from manager and shrug (“He’s young” / “He needs to learn” / “He lacks confidence in himself which is why he overcompensates”.) Now despite this all I see him still being indulged and mentored by two older male colleagues. Watching them in meetings together is like watching three male dogs wrestling and playing. Not for one moment have I exhibited similar behaviours, I do my job, take initiative, am professional…and unmentored, and generally ignored and/or talked over in meetings. Somehow, I am at a loss to explain it, he continues to be given more responsibility.


Getting wolf-whistled as I passed a group of boys whilst walking home from university. (Swansea, UK)


To the post on the 20 January 2023 about men with long hair not being asked if they’re gay… Nah, that does happen, a lot. I’ve been called gay, a fag, homo, and many other things. I’ve also been groped and sexually assaulted by women and men. Sometimes the men don’t realize that I’m a man until they grab and I turn around. That one is always fun to see their faces but then they immediately follow it up with a “you fag.”


A guy was staring at my boobs very obviously for full the duration of my 2-hour lesson at uni today. I still feel uncomfortable.


The constant accusation by the red top press and elsewhere that a women is ‘flaunting’ something (dress, abs, legs, backside, etc) is aggressive and abusive. Women wear clothes they enjoy – it is not flaunting anything. This word should become a total no-no when used to describe any female, as the word feisty is; let’s start challening its use please


I was sexually assaulted by a guy who went to the same university as me. I reported it to the university student support service, went through weeks of interviews and investigations where I showed pictures of the injuries I sustained and gave a detailed statement about what happened. He was given a warning, and I never heard from the university service again. I was extremely frustrated; he had violated me, and I had no doubt he would do the same to another girl. This was a guy who was extremely prominent in the university community (he was one of the heads of the main student union) and had a huge social media following. Since the university only gave him a warning, he must’ve felt untouchable. Immediately after finding out the university’s decision, I contacted the police via submitting a report on their website. They immediately contacted me and opened an investigation that same night. I provided a statement, answered their questions, and he was brought in for questioning the following day. Finally, I thought, something was going to happen. They interviewed one of my closest friends (the first person and only person I had told about the assault, aside from the university support service). They asked her questions about how I typically dressed, did I often drink in excess, did I enjoy and frequently go on nights out etc etc… you can see where there is going, right? The night the assault happened, I was completely sober, in bed, in my pyjamas. The guy had been on a night out and was reasonably drink. He had phoned me, pressuring me to let him come over, cajoling and persisting when I expressed my reluctance. Finally, I gave in and allowed to him access my flat. All of this I told the police in my initial interview, but in the subsequent ones, numerous questions seemed to centre around my drinking habits, how many guys did I date, how often I went on nights out. During the interviews, I often remained very matter-of-fact and direct, no letting myself break down. They questioned my friend asking whether I usually displayed so little emotion. They were essentially questioning me on my inability to display an ‘expected’ level of distress. It turned into an investigation into my sincerity as a victim. After 3 weeks of questioning, I was told that a member of the police would be in contact with me with an update on the investigation. Its been over a year since I was told that; I have contacted the department three separate times asking for any form of information, each time I am promised a call-back, and each time I never received one. The guy who assaulted me graduated within a month of the assault, moved cities and continues to plaster himself over social media. I have days where I just want to shout from all social media channels what he did to me, and how dangerous I have absolutely no doubt that he remains to be, but I know that either nobody would care, would think I was grasping for attention, that I was slandering him for my own gain or assume that I been asking for it, or that I had put myself in that situation, and therefore should simply deal with the consequences. It just infuriates me that he, and countless other men, will violate women and then continue to achieve and be believed, whilst the woman is put on trial for WHY SHE LET THIS HAPPEN TO HER.


Hey, I know this is not my story, but I feel so helpless. Recently in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. There are two female students(19) going for their compulsory military service training(every student in Vietnam must go for a month in their university foundation year). And they got raped by 12 military men currently serving. There’re videos recorded by their classmates of their heart-ripping scream and crying for help and begging them to stop. After the incident, both of them have jumped off the building. Currently, the media and the government are trying to cover this up. Even released a press saying these two girls got in a fight over money. There’re video recorded everywhere on Facebook taken off by cyper security. There is even a voice recorded of the platoon captain of the establishment where the crime happened gathering female students around and lecturing them about not going outside after curfew even tho these two girls are on their watch-out duty. Quoted “Why are you girls going out after curfew hour? No wonder these guys are doing this to you. This is all your fault.” We are all horrified by this. These incidents happened every single day, alarmingly, mostly in school or university ground. Only to have the university covering it up for their reputation.


I was sexually abused as a child and imagined that the experience made me, some how, different. I wondered whether I was ‘setting off a hormonal reaction’ in men – maybe smelling different? Because as a child, a teen, pregnant, a young mum, middle-aged and now fifty, with multiple sclerosis – I have been consistently; molested, leered at, touched, commented upon, put down, treated inappropriately etc…the list is endless. I now know that it is not just me – it is happening to all women and girls.


During freshers week at Winchester University I left the Student Union to get some air. The Bouncer told me I wasn’t allowed back in as it was past 11pm and that I should have gone onto the balcony for some air instead. Apparently I was supposed to know this on my first night out there? So I went and sat on a wall nearby and this 30+ yr old man comes and sits next to me telling me he’ll take me home and asking where I lived. She had his hands all over my back and legs. I kept walking away from him but he would follow me. The Bouncer saw all of this and did nothing.


I was raped by a classmate in medical school. I tried to confront him about it and he refused to acknowledge it. I asked my University counsellor if I could change classes (this was the first week of a new term so it would have been easy). She told me that unless I reported him to the police they wouldn’t help me, and that being in class with him would act as “exposure therapy”. I know if I reported him he wouldn’t be convicted, and I would be ostracised by my future colleagues for claiming rape. I attempted suicide three times after that.