University

Anon

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When I was 19 and in nursing school on a placement in a psych hospital, on my final day I was cornered by an old male health care assistant repeatedly demanding my number and asking to take me out on dates despite me repeatedly saying “no”. At one point he even stood between me and a patient I was having a conversation with to continue demanding my phone number. My last day of this placement was spent avoiding him at all costs and running out of there when my shift ended (I didn’t have time to say goodbye to colleagues because he was briefly off the ward so I took my opportunity and got out of there). I never reported this because he was so well liked by staff and patient and I didn’t want to jeopardise his career in the UK. It was a long time ago and I don’t really remember any of the staff who worked there but his name and face have stuck with me.

Sofia

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All my life I have been subject to male criticisms of my work and how I structure my answers. In essays, this does not bother me. However, in classes focusing on Women’s rights and Women in general, there was a particular ‘team’ of boys who would not only mansplain everything, but snigger and laugh every time I, or indeed another woman in my class, explained something at university. During secondary school, I was harassed in public, at the canteen of my school, by a boy who had a ‘crush’ on me, who even strangled me off of a bench, along with other things. It was witnessed by all of my friends, but they were simply under the influence of everyday sexism. As I was told ‘he was just flirting’. To a point where I was scared to say no when he asked me out. Which led to a toxic and abusive relationship. I was 14. I am now at university and still seeing everyday sexism everywhere.

Jess

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One of the surgeries I observed during my first placement as a medical student was a mastectomy. As they were preparing the woman, who was under general anaesthetic, for surgery the all-male team of doctors joked extensively about the size of her breasts. After drawing the area to be removed on the unconscious woman’s skin, the surgeon grabbed a breast in each hand and jiggled them around while making ‘funny’ noises – to the great amusement of all others present. I was horrified – this and similar occurrences totally undermined my trust of the medical profession. I am deeply ashamed that I didn’t report it – I didn’t think that I, a young student, could speak up against a senior consultant. I just hope that someone was brave enough to do so, and he no longer has access to women in their most vulnerable state.

Kate

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I was sexually assulted in my second year at university. only a few people know about it. I was on a sports night, with my friends at the same club we always went to. I bumped into a guy I had known for about a week, and he bought me a drink. I was relatively drunk at that point, however up until then I remember everything. however, after that drink he bought me, everything is hazy. I dont remember leaving my friends, leaving the club, somehow getting to his, and ending up naked in his bed. the main thing I remember is regaining consciousness in the dark, with no clothes on and his head between my legs. typing that sentence makes my skin crawl. I remember being so scared, searching for my underwear and feeling so vulnerable. he was horrible the next day, and I felt weird about it for weeks. it was only when I re-read my copy of Everyday Sexism did I realise this event happened without my consent. I spoke to a sexual assult helpline, and they helped me understand that I was sexually assulted. I hate the guy that did it. I hate how I can’t wear the clothes he assulted me in because they remind me of him. I hate how I feel so over exposed in revealing clothes, and only feel safe being drunk around my trusted male mates. I do know though, that it wasn’t my fault, and that regardless of what I was wearing, and how drunk I was, it was entirely his fault about what happened to me.

Joana

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I’m furious about how the Academy and all the University complex is still designed for men (specifically white men) to succeed. Specifically studying social sciences, the majority of my class are women. However, none of us is remembered, highlighted, believed in. No professor knows my name or recognizes my potential. But when it comes to my male colleague with the same grades and interventions as me, they all adore him. The professors don’t see nothing wrong in their behaviours and don’t notice their biases. My male colleagues hear us but never do anything to help us or to share their power with us. It’s exhausting running after something that is systematically running after you.

Vinisha

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I just finished reading the book. So many women like me! When i think of my issues and fears. How many times over how many years, whether it was the unwanted touching from a guy i never fancied at prom. Or the sexual assault in an elevator – more than once (different men) – where i physically couldnt leave. Or the sex that i said no to, but it happened anyway. There are so many more times and im just one girl…. Atleast ive learnt to fight back. As if that’s a lesson i needed to know. Or at my new home where my landlord is trying to bully me out of staying, inspite of the payment upfront, just because i am a petite foreign woman. Lord knows if i was from here…. Or if i was a man…. It just wouldnt happen. Why do i always have to be made stronger. Stronger for what. I think in a world where we didnt need protection from men, i dont know that id have a lot to do with them. I can count on one finger the man i know who isnt sexist. Inspite of how hard i work and my designation as managing director in manufacturing in Nigeria (which by the way is no small feat), there is the expectation that someone else must be making the decisions, and one day i will marry so i cant really have any longterm plan at work. the reality of being shouted at by my second in command – something that would not happen to a man, being told i need to handle him better… And of course which man accepts that i just do not want children. Because i was a great dog mumma, its not the same thing. Either the men i know are bullisome, or outright sexist with open remarks like “you dont need to work”, certainly they always think they know better. atleast in my experience. And yes of course we fight back, but it’s perpetual and it’s daily and it’s exhausting- for how long!!! and to be left angry. And doubting my own skills and competence. Where does it end…..!!?

University

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I’m in a mostly male dominated degree and every time I go to class I feel as though I have to work twice as hard as the boys just to be “good enough”. I continuously get pushed out of the hands on activities because “i’m a girl and i don’t really understand what we’re doing”

Anon

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I present as more effeminate than most and was called gay throughout school and university. Now wanting to explore my sexuality, I’m unsure whether the desire is my own or it’s because of the comments. I hate that it’s like this

Jordan

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I’m so tired of walking down the street and being cat called or having men follow me shouting things after me. I’m tired of having to fight harder than my husband when I walk the dogs alone because if he has reactive dogs he’s trying his best but I’m just a bad dog owner. I’m tired of men bullying their way through life and being allowed to get away with it. I’m tired of feeling unsafe walking home at night. I’m tired of feeling unsafe walking alone during the day if I don’t have a dog or my husband with me. I’m tired of being treated differently when my husband is there versus when he’s not. I’m tired of men directing their technical information to my husband like my brain is too small to comprehend it. I’m tired of having to make myself smaller so I’m more palatable. I’m tired of always having to push to be treated in even the same ballpark as men. I’m tired of all the micro aggressions I experience on a daily basis that I don’t even register anymore. I’m tired of having to pitch against agencies run by men who are worse at what they do but get more work because they’re men. I’m tired of just fucking existing in a society that wants me to shut up and put up.

Lilly

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I’m quite fond of talking about my interests wether I be litriture, poetry, certain thing that are going on in the word ect. Despite the fact before discussing stuff I do like to fact cheak and make sure my information is correct I’m always told that I dont know what im on about and spoken down to in a way by my uncle and primarly other men in my life. For example when I’m discussing politics ect my uncle will always insist speak to me in a way that puts me bellow him. I can’t describe it but it’s like the tone or the words he uses and then he insists im wrong no matter what it is only to later say my exact point back to me. Its infuriating. This happens with male friends and male colleagues too. But when I mention it i get told im just a crazy feminist who’s picking reasons to be annoyed.