I work in the arts, as a private consultant but with occasional academic work. Myself and two male friends organised a conference with the express intention of publication at the end. I made the initial conference proposal to the academic research group we are all members of, and made no secret of the fact that I expected to publish it. Today I got an email invitation to contribute part of a chapter to the book…my book(!)..which is described as a new project that they were working on. There were three named male editors, one of whom wasn’t even involved with the conference organisation. I wasn’t even asked. I feel utterly betrayed, and annoyed that I didn’t see it coming.
I’m currently a student and I’ve been working at a restaurant for the past one and a half year. I started receiving sexist comments from my male boss (there is also a female boss, his wife) who is around his 60s, after 3-4 months after I started working there, and it’s been going on until now. It started with him “joking around” about a girl that was cleaning at the time the restaurant (also a student), as at some point she bend over to pick up something off the floor and was holding the back of her trousers so that her ass wouldn’t show. He turned to me and said “I don’t understand why some women wear those kind of trousers and don’t wear belts, if they are afraid of showing their ass. I mean I’m not saying that she doesn’t have a nice ass, ’cause she does, but you know what I’m talking about”. After hearing this I was unable to give a proper answer as I thought he was joking. But it turned out that he wasn’t. He believes that, since I’m the oldest one of the female employees there now, he can talk and gossip about all of the other staff there, thinking that I’d laugh and agree to his remarks. The last sexist thing he said to me was actually two days ago, when I went to get my wage. Normally, I take the money, sign on the notebook, and leave. Nevertheless, as I was about to turn around and leave, he started asking me questions about why the other employees would “mock” him. I told him that I hadn’t heard anything, but he wouldn’t believe me. Eventually, he started saying that some of the staff think he’s always looking at the asses or breasts of his female employees -which is correct, anyway. Then he said “It wouldn’t be my fault if I was looking at their asses, as they provoke with their way of dressing at work sometimes”. At that point, I was speechless from what he had said, and couldn’t think of an answer again, as I feel like voicing my opinion would start a dispute between me and him and ultimately make me lose my job. He kept me there for at least fifteen minutes and wouldn’t let me go, something that made me feel as if he had restrained me there from leaving, which brought me in a very awkward position. This has happened more than twenty times, and these were only two examples out of the several I’ve experienced. I’m just sick and tired of going every time to work and be scared of what his next look, comment or action might be. Comments like this and even actions, have been received from more than 10 former female employees, so I’m not the first nor the last one in there experiencing this. Everyone says that I should ignore him, but it’s not that easy as I need the job to live.
While travelling abroad on a work trip, my boss let me know that in choosing between me and a slightly better qualified candidate, he hired me because he like my ass. “Got to have something nice to look at when you are away from home”. He also commented on my hands, “nice hands, I’d like to see them round my dick”.
I’m Native American and wear my hair traditionally long. I often endure “wolf whistles” and catcalls from male drivers who mistake me for a woman. I also walk for my health on the local university campus and I recently noticed that I was apparently being stalked at a distance. Being a guy, I generally worry about guys wanting to pick on me, or wanting to fight. The guy following me kept at a distance, but followed me everywhere I went. I finally realized he also thought I was a woman (I had on thick winter clothing, and all he saw was my hair). This type of behavior would severely hamper my efforts to exercise if I were a woman. Because of my work schedule, I have to walk after dark (during the winter) and this has become a common occurrence. I have every bit of empathy for women who must put up with this type of suspicious behavior daily.
I’am a french graphic student and i can’t count down how many times my class mates called me gay just because i used pink or flower in my creations. I’ve always been attracted by women but all of those attack (they were telling me that like it was a shame) made me questioning it. Was I really gay ? I started to think that i didn’t wanted to accept it just because i was close-minded, i was so obsess with it that i didn’t get the fact that sexual orientation and taste matter don’t have to be linked. It get me time to pass through this
I was at our local pub in university and waiting for the girls washroom was taking forever – a friend of mine grabbed me out of line and pulled me into the guys washroom saying there was no one in there. I used the stall in the guys washroom, and when I opened the door a man was standing in the doorway blocking me from getting out. He said “what do you think you’re doing in here? You askin for a good time?” And started walking me further back into the stall. He grabbed me and started rubbing himself on me. I slapped him as hard as I could in the face and he back up enough for me to get out. The worst part of all was the five guys who were standing in the washroom minding their own business. No one said or did anything – they were just going to keep minding their own business and let a girl get assaulted righty in front of them. I told them they should be ashamed of themselves, and I still see some of them moving around campus with no conception of how much their actions can impact the lives of the women around them.
Hi, , I know that Laura Bates who founded this project got on Honorary Degree on the day that I graduated or her amazing work! She made an amazing inspirational and motivating speech at the university, The same university that is allowing Toby Young (newly appointed Minister) to make a key note speech despite his horrific sexist views. How can they do this?
I’m an engineering student and I’m one of 30 girls in a class of 300, during one of my first weeks I had just sat through a lecture and at the end a boy sitting next to me asked if I had understood it, I said I did, he then proceeded to ask what subject I did, I replied that I obviously did engineering (he had just seen me sit through a two hour lecture), and he then replied with “oh you look like you got lost on your way to an arts lecture”. I couldn’t believe that someone would think my looks would affect what subject I had chosen to study, and he obviously thought this was a compliment to me! I also constantly have to deal with boys whispering and talking about me in lectures because I’m the only girl. Why am I not entitled to getting an education without constant harassment and feeling on edge and uncomfortable?
Being told in primary school after a boy had punched me in the face that that was just because he found me attractive. In high school having my arse cupped enough that his fingers were resting on my genitals as I walked through the playground. The aim was to humiliate me and make himself more popular in the process. I was not the first girl he had played this prank on. In University working at a pub over the holidays, I was invited to go out after work finished. I’d had a couple of drinks and was heading to the bathroom before setting off home. Was grabbed and pinned against the wall by a 6ft+ muscular black man and told that I was beautiful and he wanted to kiss me. I politely told him I was on the way to the bathroom of he wouldn’t mind. The comment was ignored as he tried to get me to dance with him by grinding against me. I tried to catch the attention of a passing female bouncer to help me get rid of him but she just looked me up and down in disgust and walked away. He eventually forced me back against to wall ignoring everything I said, including that I had a boyfriend and forced me to kiss him. I never did go to the toilet, I grabbed my stuff and left the club in tears. Coming out of work and a van stopped near a busy roundabout so the guy could ask directions. I helped but the conversation soon turned to how I was northern and how much he would like to fuck me, presumably because I sound “common”. My ex boyfriend introducing me to family and friends as Kimberley rather than Kim because that combined with my northern accent makes me sound less middle class. Having guys on nights out grab me to dance with me despite whether I want to dance with them or not. Being told by my father when I said I wanted to go into publishing/editing that I was aiming too high and the field is too competitive. Generally having to say I have a boyfriend to guys before they will back off because you’re someone else’s “property”.
Bonjour, I live in Canada, in Alberta. I’m currently 18 and I go to a French-speaking campus at the University of Alberta. Recently, (around the same time as the Weinstein scandal) I was sexually harassed by another student who had followed me to one of my favourite cafés. When he followed me to the restaurant I thought that there was nothing wrong, there were no alarm bells at this point, but we started a conversation and he started asking me if my vagina was shaved, I would be willing to engage in sexual acts with him, if I wore lingerie and if yes where did I buy them, constantly insisting on an answer. Also comments on how he liked me because I wasn’t dressed like a slut. The list goes on, but out of the many things that made me feel uncomfortable was that he said that he was unhappy he didn’t get to grope me during an exercise in drama class. I told my teachers since he was in three of my classes and I thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong. I started to notice that he was becoming aggressive because I had denounced him, later on in the semester, his attitude was starting to look like stalking. When I tried to tell my drama teacher I was still worried, he shut me up by saying ”It’s an old story.” I knew then what I had to do, I told the Dean and the university authorities, as a result, the student will certainly be banned from certain classes or maybe even the campus. Also, the teacher will be accused of dangerous negligence towards the safety of a student. Before I denounced him, I heard from fellow students that I wasn’t the only woman who had had a problem with this (disgusting) man. The fact that I am the only one to have stood up makes me ashamed that women still believe they don’t have enough power to confront these men when it is so untrue. Look at me, I stood up, fought and I’m still breathing and kicking. This is not my first experience of sexual assault or harassment but I have made it my duty to report incidents and speak out against the (very real) ”rape-culture” to which young girls and boys far too often fall victim and stay quiet.