Workplace

Kristin

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I deliver pizzas for work. One time, I called a customer because I couldn’t find his entry door, so he knew I was coming and he knew I was a woman. Nevertheless or maybe because of this, he opened the door completely naked. I now sometimes wish I had called the police, but I think I didn’t because I was afraid they would play it down or simply tell me that there was nothing they could do. I told my boss when I returned to the store and he called the man, telling him how this was sexual harassment, and the man simply claimed he didn’t have time to put on clothes before opening the door.

Anon

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When I was 19 and in nursing school on a placement in a psych hospital, on my final day I was cornered by an old male health care assistant repeatedly demanding my number and asking to take me out on dates despite me repeatedly saying “no”. At one point he even stood between me and a patient I was having a conversation with to continue demanding my phone number. My last day of this placement was spent avoiding him at all costs and running out of there when my shift ended (I didn’t have time to say goodbye to colleagues because he was briefly off the ward so I took my opportunity and got out of there). I never reported this because he was so well liked by staff and patient and I didn’t want to jeopardise his career in the UK. It was a long time ago and I don’t really remember any of the staff who worked there but his name and face have stuck with me.

Kim

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I work as an Environmental Assistant in a Govt org. One day at a meeting someone asked why we didn’t have lunch served and one guy casually said ‘As you can see we have a lady here, maybe next time she can organize’. It absolutely irked me because I was there in a professional capacity, my gender had nothing to do with it. It also gave me ‘ Women belong in the kitchen’ vibes.

Prefer not to say

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There is a man at my office who I have liked for a very long time but never did anything about it as workplace relationships are frowned upon by our employer. At our Christmas night out we ended up kissing and I was delighted. It didn’t go further than this and I was so happy as I really liked him. I thought he might ask me on a date! The following week we were working late, alone, and he kissed me again, which I wanted him to. But this time he took his penis out of his trousers and asked me to touch it. When I said no he called me a tease. Eventually he got the message that I was not going to touch him and he put it away. I feel like I can’t report what happened as then I would have to explain that we were kissing in the office, which was initially consensual. He doesn’t speak to me any more now, and I still have to see him at work. It made me feel really cheap and not safe, as was scared that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I thought I knew him and he would never make me feel like that. I feel stupid for misjudging him and the situation.

Software Engineer

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As a software developer my work is constantly critiqued even though I know it is well written by tools running through the code. My male counterparts get immediate approvals no matter how badly written the code is. There is a male engineer on my team who never writes any code which is his primary job. I have no idea how he still has a job considering I have given feedback about his lack of work ethics No one questions his lack of outputs I am routinely talked over or talked down to

Kirsty

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I was at a networking event last night. I introduced myself to 2 men and a woman. After saying my name and that I was new to the city and it was my first networking event, one of the men said to me; ‘New people have to get up on stage and do a striptease’… It was a professional networking event, at a coworking, where speakers were talking about their careers. I was baffled and just looked at the woman next to me who was also totally perplexed. He didn’t apologise, in fact, he alluded to the comment twice further after the host of the event organised an ice breaker networking game asking for people to join him. The host was of course unaware of this bizzare comment. The man then contacted me on LinkedIn the next day, didn’t mention anything about it, so I pulled him up on it. He did a casual one line apology ‘I am sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I was being an idiot. I then decided to explain the situation and how it had made me feel. ‘I’m incredibly surprised that at no point and on your initial message today, or after saying it last night you didn’t apologise. In fact you actually alluded to the comment a couple more times when I went to participate on stage and after I got off the stage. I’m not sure if you realise how utterly uncomfortable it made me feel, including during the stage segment – when I knew someone in the audience had said new people have to striptease. It made me think twice about participating and obviously getting on stage to learn from the workshop. It also made the other woman standing with me clearly uncomfortable. I don’t know you so I don’t know if this something you have said regularly, or if you would say it to other women at other events. While I appreciate your apology after me bringing it up to you, I think it’s also part of a wider discussion about how women should be treated and spoken to at these kinds of events. To have this comment made to me by an absolute stranger is perplexing, degrading and utterly unprofessional.’ He did apologise again and get this – HE HAS A DAUGHTER – who is 18… ‘Once again I am sorry and it was one of those comments that as soon as I had said I knew it was inappropriate and you are correct I should have apologised straight away and I didn’t. I am not the sort of person that degrades women. I have a daughter who I encourage to stand up to comments like that. So please understand it was a stupid comment and I am sorry I made you feel’. I’m glad they have apologised: -But it’s only after I’ve pulled them up on it -And it should never have happened.

Sofia

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All my life I have been subject to male criticisms of my work and how I structure my answers. In essays, this does not bother me. However, in classes focusing on Women’s rights and Women in general, there was a particular ‘team’ of boys who would not only mansplain everything, but snigger and laugh every time I, or indeed another woman in my class, explained something at university. During secondary school, I was harassed in public, at the canteen of my school, by a boy who had a ‘crush’ on me, who even strangled me off of a bench, along with other things. It was witnessed by all of my friends, but they were simply under the influence of everyday sexism. As I was told ‘he was just flirting’. To a point where I was scared to say no when he asked me out. Which led to a toxic and abusive relationship. I was 14. I am now at university and still seeing everyday sexism everywhere.

Grace

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I’m a medical student, and we tend to work in pairs to see patients. I would say that more than half the time, when I see a patient accompanied by a fellow male student, the patient completely ignores me and addresses all their questions to him. This is despite the fact that my colleague and I are at the same level of education and schooling, and usually about the same age. Even if my colleague steps back and lets me lead the interview, they still address him and him only.

Roo

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A (younger) male colleague openly saying that women lose all value past the ages of 25-26. A woman of 35 and over is like second hand goods; worn out and discarded. He then made a comparison between divorced women and used cars; too stubborn, too much mileage. I am a youthful looking 40 y.o. and went through a difficult divorce a few years ago.

Anon

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As I was passing a checkpoint to get into a high security site for work, the old man on the gate walked around my car and said “isn’t that car a bit too big for you?”