Workplace

I work in a group of three leaders. The other two are men. They have an extraordinarily difficult time hearing any other ideas other than their own. Recently I pushed with some questions that challenged the status quo, and their response was to sit on the opposite side of the conference room table from me, in a group with 3 additional people including my direct leader, and rather than debate the issues, one said “everything is fine as it is, the problem is really YOU, (my name).” Nothing is fine- we are losing money and market share- but they don’t want to do anything more difficult than sit and watch it fail. My response? “I never promised to be fun all the time, I’m not an amusement park. Sorry I rattled your cage but something has to change here if we are going to be successful. Can we talk about the business now?” UGH it is like pushing a giant boulder uphill, every single day.

The managers (all men) at my workplace were discussing candidates for their departments’ open positions. One asked where the lab girls’ resumes were. The women who applied for the open lab position were not “girls,” they were experienced professionals. I didn’t hear him call the applicant for the other open position the “quality assurance boy.”

At 15 I started working at a fish and chip shop, earning decent money for that age. I worked with friends but they all left… I was the only one left. That’s when it started. The abuse. At age 18. I tried to save others as other girls joined the business and I did successfully but I was left with three years of torture. Rape, physical abuse, assault and the mental toll of it all. My boss, the man the community trusts, the man my parents trusted with their child, the man my old school trusted. The man who abused me, is a beloved member of the community and I am the only one who knows who he really is. A monster. I finally left there in 2023 and I have a new job, a better job. I am still haunted by him and I feel guilty that I am not brave enough to tell the police in fear of not being believed or taken seriously. I am free but still feel imprisoned by a man who couldn’t even tie his own shoelaces….

I was told not to complain about the man who had been sexually harrassing me a work for 6 months becasue I needed to be more “culturally sensitive” about his behaviour. He was italian, you see, “they have more feelings than we do”.

I went for an interview for a job I really wanted. It was for a gaming company and the final round interview was with the head. I was asked about my language ability. I said I spoke two languages other than English. He asked me about one language in particular, and my ability level. I answered that I took a degree level course (alongside my degree) and, without studying, passed with distinction. So I was pretty confident in my ability. His answer? “Very modest too, I see” with a bit of a scoff and a raised eyebrow. It was the truth and in interviews you’re supposed to make yourself look as good as you can. Would he have said that if I were male? Or would that have come off as confident (how dare a woman be anything but humble?)? The whole thing just gave me “we don’t employ many *girls* here” vibes. I didn’t take the job.

Where I used to work, the men used the phrase ‘where there’s a willy, there’s a way’ as if inferring that only some problems can be solved by men and women are inferior. This was not by any means the worst of their sexist and misogynistic language.