I was recently at a corporate networking event speaking with two men, one a senior partner at my firm and one a peer, when the conversation between them turned to their sporting interests. I was asked if I played anything, and I said I liked long distance running. ‘Ever done a marathon?’ I was asked. I proudly replied that yes I had. ‘What was your time?’ Just over 5 hours, I replied. Both men laughed and then went on to tell each other about their friends who were competing for various Iron Man challenges or who had recently run marathons in less than 3 hours. I immediately felt excluded from the conversation, which moved on to how the firm’s football team was doing in the local legal league. I soon felt that I had very little to contribute. It also left me wondering what they wanted to find in me when they asked these questions, which seem to be so common in the corporate field. Was I competitive? Was I skilled? Brave? Tough? Could I show physical and mental endurance? Was I confident and a team player? Was I interested in the same things as them? If they had asked those questions I could have told them that I was or could show all of those things. Things I had done in my life, other than play sport, were evidence to this. I could have told other stories, some so personal and one in particular completely tragic that to me, tell of my bravery, endurance and willpower. I also could have told them more about the marathon, which was on a freakishly hot April day when the heat and a broken iPod messed up my rhythm, but I didn’t get the chance to. I still finished it. I still got past the wall. I know some won’t agree with me, but I find this type of conversation to be very subtly sexist, especially in a competitive work place where everything you do and say is assessed. I love watching sport and I cheer on my firm’s football team, but I don’t want to be judged by my lack of involvement in it. Sadly it hasn’t been the first time I’ve been shut out of a conversation by male employees talking about sport in this way, and it’s seriously frustrating.
