I went to uni at 18 and chose to attend the same university that my brother had, whilst he studied in America. In ‘freshers week’ my brother’s rugby ‘friends’ tried it on and I went home with a 3rd year, 1st team rugby player.
I later learnt that he had given graphic details of the nights we spent together at rugby socials. He apparently gained extra credit for my fresher and sibling status.
Soon after this I was called by my brother to proofread one of his essays. Directing me to open his emails, I sat in halls and opened the inbox to be greeted with an email from this man to my brother entitled… I met your sister. I opened the email to read an account of his nights with me (all true) followed by ‘only joking mate, I’d never do that to you.’
I eventually had to tell my brother and deal with comments about my promiscuity from the rugby team. I had two sexual partners at university – this man and my now husband.
The guilt I felt for humiliating my brother and the lack of respect this man showed to me was very damaging. I have only now, 10 years on and married to a wonderful feminist, forgiven myself.