Naomi

I never saw it as rape, I don’t know if I do even now. I always kind of thought I wanted it to happen so it wasn’t.

I was 17 and having my first house party. The boy who I was interested in (and would go on to be my boyfriend of three years) was coming. I had said to my friends that I wanted to sleep with him and had mentioned how I hoped tonight we would. After having drunk a lot of wine, I find myself laying next to him in bed chatting. I wake up later in the night knowing he had had sex with me while I had passed out. I didn’t see it as rape because I liked him, I wanted him to be my boyfriend.

But then I was thinking today, what must have have been like. To have sex with someone that is completely unresponsive. Who wasn’t even awake to kiss you back. How could you enjoy that?