My freshman year at college, during the first week of school, there was a party hosted by a fraternity at a local club. It was 18+ that night so everyone could go, and it was one of the first times I had ever really gotten drunk. I was in a skirt and it was incredibly crowded, the kind of crowd you have to squeeze through. There was a bouncer who grabbed my crotch as I walked by, and the first time it happened I thought, “he didn’t really mean to do that, it’s just crowded.” And when I happened by him again he grabbed me twice and kept his hand there. I was so shocked and confused, I didn’t really know what had happened. I was always told to be weary of fraternities, but people who’s job it is to watch out for things like that at those events – like bouncers – are also in positions of power that make it easy to target women, and I think they often go unnoticed.
I told 2 friends I had just met (it was the first week) when we walked home and they were both just shocked. I felt really vulnerable at the time, having just moved away from my friends and family, and we didn’t really know each other well enough for them to be of much support. Things like this happen all of the time, and one thing that has given me some solace is in sexual violence advocacy, and supporting projects like this.
I hope anyone who reads this will find some peace, solidarity, and courage to never doubt themselves.