Jen Spence

I finished night shift and I’m having breakfast at camp. I’m sitting at a table with 4 guys from the crew. I’ve been sharing meals with them for days. 1 guy says when he was 18 yrs old, he slept with a 16 yr old. (Found out later they’ve been married now for 30 yrs or so). Another guy says, “Ooo a 16 yr old, that’d be nice but I’d do 20.” (Meaning he’d spend 20yrs in jail) A couple of the guys laughed, so that guy continues to talk shit. I can’t recall what else he said, because my ptsd is triggered. I refocus and I say, “hey do you know 1 in 3 girls will get harassed and go thru stuff like that?” He just awkwardly laughed and said something like, “ya well.” So I looked him in the eye and said, “do you have any daughters?” He said, “yes I have 3.” I said, “well there ya go. According to statistics one of your daughters will probably get sexually harassed, maybe to the point of rape.” He shakes his head no. I continue and say, “I hate to break the news to you but you better prepare yourself for that happening to one of your daughters”. He looked at me in shock and he got up and left the dining room. Wow, was he upset with me. I know by the look on his face that I got him thinking. I sure hope my education will change his behaviour for the better, so next time when he wants to talk like a pig that he will change his thoughts for the better. Change one’s thoughts, change one’s behaviour. I feel proud for sticking up for myself and all women. Who knows what’s going on in his mind; maybe 1 of his daughters have already been assaulted; maybe he’s assaulted woman or a child before; who knows. I sure hope he grows from this experience into being more mindful when he next speaks about women. A guy at the next table over heard the conversation, who by the way is a good guy, & he looked at me and smiled with pride for what I said. I wish THAT guy that got up and left had stayed because I wanted him to also know that the statistic for guys is 1 in 6. I work with a crew of about 45 guys and I am the only girl. I am 1 in 3. There must be at least 7 guys on his crew that have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives too. May the creator send this guy love and light for hopefully he will become a better man from this point on. I am not going to let him bring me down, because I feel damn proud for my mindful speech and I will continue to have a happy Sunday. ??