I grew up in a Christian church, going multiple times a week. As soon as I started to hit puberty, an older male church member (50-60 years older than me) would force me into hugs any time I saw him, saying “where’s my hug” or “there’s my girl.” He would squeeze me very tightly to his body. This happened every time I saw this man, and would occur in front of my parents, his wife, other church members, youth leaders, church leaders — the list goes on. Nobody ever said anything about it. I would walk to avoid him, or try to make jokes to avoid it, but it never seemed to work. Eventually I even spoke to my parents about it, and the just brushed it off. I’m now in my late 20s, and this still happens if I visit the church. It didn’t hit me until recently how inappropriate this behavior was, and how abhorrent it is that no adults ever intervened. It was just considered normal and expected that I, as a young woman, owed this male acquaintance physical affection just because he was there.
