Emma

I consider myself an active ‘feminist’, an activist and advocate for my wonderful fellow women-kind. I often speak about my past experiences with everyday sexism, sexual assault and general misogyny and pride myself on my ‘fending off drunk guys’ for me (and friends) on nights out. (Tips include: tell a bartender and/or bouncer if someone makes you feel uncomfortable…thats their job and they are more than happy to help…don’t resort to my favourite tactic of taking out your earrings and yelling in a drunk rage to get your point across!) This weekend I was in London visiting a friend, she told me we were just going for dinner and popping into a bar to say hi to a friend then going home..this bar turned out to be full of Made in Chelsea stars and the general sort revolving this (not my scene at all, I’m happier in a Spoons). I was told by my friend as we walked in to ‘go along with this guy, he’s harmless but will buy us Champagne and he is important to my career’. I quickly realised who this guy was: he clearly took a shine to me and I was forced to sit next to him. I was overwhelmed by the situation I was in anyway and this guy was increasingly touchy with me. I talked about my lovely boyfriend frequently and was told ‘he isn’t a real boyfriend because he isn’t here with you tonight’. I tried to politely edge away and before I knew it this guy was slapping my arse telling me how firm it is and all the things he could offer me financially. Usually this would have ended up with a face full of drink and a very public yell-fest, but I was just too concerned about embarrassing my friend so I made bathroom-excuses. She came with me and apologised for his behaviour but insisted we went back to sit with him for the free drinks. It took another person who had witnessed everything to tell my friend we should move on to another bar. It has only really sunk in a few days late; I am angry at myself for not using my usually well-used voice and I actually ended up apologising to my partner as I felt like I owed him an explanation as if I had cheated on him. If that isn’t ingrained-partiacal-systems I don’t know what is! Anyway; I hope people can learn from my mistakes. Dont EVER put your friends in situations like that, your career is NOT worth your friends body. But also, don’t feel guilty for feeling so awful in a situation that your usual Fiesty Feminist shrinks back into the background out of fear….you are still a wonderful human being and a Feminist.