Mollie

I was around 9 when my cousin groped and cornered me in my grandparents closet space during a game of ‘hide-and-seek’. My cousin was a year older and at the time I didn’t know that this was not normal. My cousin’s father found us and didn’t say anything about what he saw. I buried this right down inside me to a point where I forgot about it until I was 15 and groped on the street in a public place. This older man was running down the street and groped me first and another lady further down. My mother asked what was wrong (I had made a noise) and I started crying and pointing at the man, just before he groped the other woman, people around me stared and I instantly felt awkward and out of place. My mother travelled overseas that day and I was left at home with my dad and brother. I made a report with the police 2 weeks later because I didn’t want to go with my dad to the police station. Before my mum left at the airport my dad made a comment about “how I should be grateful that someone had an interest in me.” From there I was cornered again at a party by an older guy who started to touch me. I continued to be around him until it was time to leave with my family. It was 2 days later that I told my mum and we didn’t do anything. My boyfriend then dumped me because I was too afraid to be touched and was instantly triggered by these incidents. I received therapy that helped by I still tend to go on a downwards spiral. I put on weight thinking that no one would want to touch me then and constantly wore daggy clothes. I get nervous in crowds and hold my hands behind me (over my butt) when i walk in them. I’m 18 now and one small trigger could make me spiral into taking 2 weeks off school where I would spend it in bed. My mum told me that I had to stop calling these incidents ‘sexual assault’ because it’s not like I was raped or anything.