It was May 8th 2012
One time our family had guests over, and they had a son who was around his early teens who I’ve known for most of my life. It was around midday, and we were playing together until he decided to push me into my parents’ walk-in-closet and pin me to the floor. He proceeds to take out his phone and play a video about initiating sex and reached down to take off my clothes. All I could do was lay there in absolute shock and fear. He abruptly stopped hearing my cousin approaching in the hall. Where I had the opportunity to open the door and run out. I’m incredibly grateful for my cousin; I seriously do not know how far the boy would have gone if he wasn’t interrupted. I was only nine years old at that time.
As a result of that incident, I never told anyone except that cousin, not even my parents, before this blog, I planned to take it to the grave because I was ashamed. And from that day on, I sought food as comfort subconsciously over eating thinking I would be undesirable that it would never happen again. Through my pre-teen stages, I craved a childhood that I felt robbed of that day, so I held onto childish things like barbies and stuffed animals, watching children’s shows beyond the expected age. For years I thought it was my fault. That day caused me trauma I didn’t know I had; I matured at a rate that no child should. Afraid of relationships, scared of seeing that boy again. And if have any wish, it would be for nobody ever to experience what I experienced that day. It pains me to think that this is normal behaviour and similar and worse instances happen to girls and women daily.