Walking home from a really fun night out with my female friend, early hours in the morning so there wasn’t many people around. We were laughing and joking and not 100% aware of our surroundings and two guys cross the street to us and don’t say a word. First guy strangles me and the second guy apologises to my friend (NOT to me) and implies that this sort of thing has happened before. I remember not being able to say anything in the situation but all the way home saying in disbelief, “did that guy really just strangle me? Why did he strangle me?”. I want injured, he didn’t strangle me too hard (although that’s not the point!) so me and my friend told the story and laughed it off as a joke. It’s taken me 2 years and reading the chapter “Women in Public Spaces” of the Everyday Sexism book to realise that this is not normal or funny behaviour. That guy assaulted me and his friend apologised for his actions as if his friend does it often. I don’t go out to clubs anymore because every single time I am groped, kissed, grabbed, grinded on which makes me feel worthless and ashamed and guilty as I have a boyfriend. He is sickened to hear that it happens as it only happens when he isn’t there. Maybe because the guys who do it see me as my boyfriends “property” and don’t come near me when he is there for that reason. However, I think I will have the courage to report it to the club now when it happens and reclaim the club as somewhere I can be safe! These men only choose to do this sort of behaviour when they feel like they have the upper hand, the power and the control but I am no longer going to let this be the case.
