An angery girl

We used to visit my grandparents’ house frequently when I was little. My grandpa has had a stroke and he’s bedridden. I remember that one day of our visit ( I think I was around 9 back then and my body had started to mature a little) I went in his room to say hi and check up on him and as usual I shook his hand and kissed his cheeks (it’s a custom to do in my country) but when I was turning around to leave he groped my breasts ( not technically breasts I was so young like my body was still like children like there was nothing sexual about my body like wtf)

Anyways he groped me and I had no idea what he was doing and I thought it was a normal thing cause he’s my grandpa he wouldn’t do anything weird and again I was only 9. After that he let me go and this happened another time and I remember coming to the kitchen where my parents, my grandma and one of my aunts were there and I don’t clearly remember how exactly but my dad kinda figured out what he was doing Idk maybe he thought it was not that serious or maybe he was afraid of his father ( because now from the things I’ve heard about my grandpa is basically that he was a very abusive, drunken father and husband and … he was just an asshole so maybe my dad is still traumatized about his past… anyways)

To be short my dad didn’t really do anything about it (or from what I know because I haven’t really talked about this with him because I don’t know how and I don’t want to see him hurt or have to live with this guilt because I love my dad so much but I know I have to talk about this someday and I will)

Anyways that day when the secret was revealed everyone went quiet and … I don’t remember much anymore but from that day on my mum never left me alone with my grandpa and at some point we stopped visiting there that often.

Years passed and at 2019 when I was chatting with my mum about my father’s family, she told me that he had also done something similar to her and she had told my dad and my grandma that she will never visit my grandpa alone and still everyone kept quiet …

I didn’t really think about what had happened to me till now and I now realize that I was sexually assaulted by my own fucking grandpa who fucking watched me grow up when I was a baby in his arms and he assaulted his own granddaughter.

No one really talks about this stuff in my family and I KNOW I’M SURE of it that he has done this to someone else and god knows how many women, girls in this family have been assaulted by him and if he wasn’t sick and he could move freely I can only imagine the worse things he could’ve done to us!

And now I’m angry I’m so angry I want him to suffer for everything he has put my grandma into for what he has done . My mom says I should let go of this but I can’t I don’t know how, now that I know the truth. I don’t know what to do he’s already dying and perhaps suffering in his state because now he can’t even do the simplest of tasks…

But that’s not enough for me I hate him so much I just want to see him before he dies and tell him that I know what he has done and that I hate him and that I hope he suffers in the afterlife ( if there is an afterlife)