In college, a group of boys who I was seated with in class thought it was amusing to discuss how I would get f*cked by a man twice my size.

The in’s and out of how it would happen and what this man would do to my body.

I tried to play it off and move the conversation on because I felt uncomfortable. I felt so violated, that they could speak about my body that way and they did so with laughter.

I wish I had expressed how that conversation felt in that moment to them but I didn’t and that regret haunts me to this day.

6 years later and I still think about every word they said.

It’s sad to know that my body may never feel like my own in the presence of boys and men.