g

I had a boyfriend of a year who I trusted and loved (thought so at least) and woke up one night to him using my hand to get himself off. He didn’t know and I was awake and I was so shocked I couldn’t confront him at the time, instead I rolled over so he would stop. Next day I cried to my best friend about it and confronted him. Told me he didn’t know what he was thinking and apologised. Fast forward a few months after we’d broken up and I told my mum what he did, she didn’t believe me and said she was going to judge him off what she knew of him. Ended up getting into a huge argument and where both of my parents said a number of things that disgusted me. Things like “you consented when you got in the bed”, “it gets to a point in a relationship when you don’t have to ask”, “how else was he going to wake you up”, “I think you’ll get over it given your past” (slut shaming me), “you told me 6 months after it happened what was I supposed to think”. I never lost sleep over the incident itself but my own parents’ reactions to it hurt me deeply, I’d always heard of stories where girls get sexually assaulted and don’t come forward because they’re scared of people not believing them or slut shaming them and it absolutely baffled me because I thought why would people ever do that? Massive shock to me at 18 it’s honestly astounding how women can come out of these things looking worse off than the man