I am a lawyer married to a surgeon. My husband has cheated on me twice, has consistently lookEd at other women, has lied to me continually to cover up his infidelity and has been violent to me on three occasions. This morning and night before last and ironically just now in the middle of typing this, so the 3rd occasion in 2 days, my husband has told me to “calm down“ he has also said that to me previously on top of other belittling and disrespectful comments including, “you are a millstone around my neck”, F off frequently and saying “you are a shite”. I know that men in the modern world still tell women to “calm down” and think that that is okay, it is appalling and gaslighting behaviour. Everyday sexism exists on a really dangerously ingrained level to the extent of an embedded misogyny ignored and accepted by society.