I recently had a conversation with a cisgender male friend of mine about walking outside at night. He frequently drops a roommate off at McCain Auditorium after dark so she can practice since she is uncomfortable walking or driving herself when it’s late. The parking near McCain is very poorly lit, so it makes obvious sense to both of us that she should be dropped off by the door instead. However, our male friend usually drops her off a distance from the door and then immediately turns to leave, without waiting to make sure she gets inside safely. The two of us mentioned it to him recently, asking him if he could wait just briefly to watch her walk for fifteen seconds in the darkness. He began to protest, gaslighting our worries and telling us we were overreacting. He said that he walks around in the dark all the time, so it’s not like there are scary men waiting to jump out from every corner. It completely does not occur to this 6-foot-tall man that his 5’3” friends who appear very feminine no matter what would hold reservations about walking through secluded areas after dark.
