I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years on and off during high school (from ages 11-16). I only realised afterwards, when I met my fiance, that it was abuse and that’s not how a relationship should be.
Obviously at the beginning of the relationship, it wasn’t anything much, but even at age 12 I was being told who I could be friends with etc.
When I was 15 we eventually decided to have sex. The first time was fine, but then afterwards for the next year, all he wanted was sex and even decided he would be having it with me when I didn’t want it.
He’d take photos of my naked, sleeping body and then show them to his friends. One day we were having a bit to drink and he ended up hitting me across the face. From there it got progressively worse, with belt buckles being used and cigarettes being put out on my skin.
All of this time, I did have a few friends, and recently I got back in contact with some of them again. We were discussing these years and they just came out and said ‘oh we knew he was doing that stuff, but we thought you liked it. You never said anything to us so.’
I was so shocked and hurt that my own friends thought that because I hadn’t said to them ‘oh I don’t like being burned with cigarettes or forced into sex’, it obviously meant I wanted it.
I’ve been left scared physically and emotionally from that relationship, and it hurts even more knowing my friends did nothing and thought it was okay that I was being abused.