I was out with my friend at a restaurant. We had just finished eating and were hanging out (loitering, I suppose) out on the sidewalk, just making idle conversation. This man standing about 20 feet away is clearly intoxicated. He is on his phone and having the loudest conversation that my friend and I were oblivious to until we hear him say “You would not BELIEVE the women here right now.” Whatever conversation we were having dissipated as we turned to him, and this gut feeling washed over me. Oh no, here we go. He get’s louder. “OH man, this girl is just so sexy!” I drop my jaw and worked up the nerve to call him out.
“EXCUSE ME.” I said. He looked to me like a predator, and I felt adrenaline pumping through my veins. “Are you talking about my friend here?” I asked with every bit of venom I could muster. I felt white hot rage and not even for myself, but for my friend who was standing there, completely shocked.
“No sweetie, I’m talking about you,” he coos.
He goes on with some bullshit but my friend speaks up saying, I shit you not, the best part. Because to this 40 year old, publicly intoxicated man, she shouts out “SHE’S SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.”
A moment of silence, and then my dad, who we were waiting on, finally exited the restaurant. Hook about 3 seconds to assess the situation, went from white to purple, and lost it. Followed by my mom. Oh man, that guy got fucking shredded.
I’m just so thankful I had a friend and she had me and we had my bad ass parents. That’s one of my many stories of men making a fool of themselves.