A few years ago, I was on a bus going into central London. It was early Saturday afternoon and I was on my own. I have taken this bus for many years without a problem. On this occasion, as I approached South Kensington the bus became packed with people and a man took the seat next to me on the upper deck. I remember very little about the man other than he was white and appeared over 45 years old. The man stretched his legs so wide that it not only broke into my personal space but it forced me to shrink back and be pressed against the window. The man then proceeded to bounce his leg up and down almost in an almost provocative manner. It seemed liked he wanted to show off his dominance of the space. Instead of telling him to stop or calling for help, I froze.
I kept questioning myself. I kept thinking does he mean to do this? Am I overreacting? But in truth, I knew that he was fully aware of what he was doing. I felt frightened and was too shocked to speak up for myself. Once I got off the bus, I cried and wasn’t really sure why. I had forgotten about this incident until I listened to a podcast called the Guilty Feminists. The two leading female presenters (and comedians!) discussed the subject of ‘Public Space’ and my experience came flooding back to me. Sofie Hagen, a Danish comedian said that it was a common reaction in such instances that when people have their public space abused, that they simply freeze. I remember how trapped I felt in that moment. So sick. Now, I still feel those things but I also feel angry.
I am writing my story down on everyday sexism to encourage people to speak up for themselves and to remind them that they are not alone. If we make a point that this happens to people often, something can be done. I can only hope that I have the voice to say something if it were ever to happen again.