Two years ago I was on a tube home after performing in a musical with a fellow cast member who got off the stop before me. I got off at my stop, it was almost midnight and I suddenly felt this weird presence. I didn’t know what to do. Was I imagining it? Nope! A man was walking behind me. He pressed himself up against me on the escalator. He said ‘was that your boyfriend?’ I’m a pretty honest person so without thinking I said ‘no’ he said ‘you’re very beautiful’. Now after 24 years of being a woman I was well trained in how to deal with unwanted advances. The first thought you have… keep him calm. Don’t get him angry or you’ll get hurt. I said ‘Thank you very much, it was nice to meet you but I think I’d like to walk alone thanks’ He said ‘You’re welcome’ I sped up. He came after me. ‘But you’re very beautiful, do you have a boyfriend? I said ‘Look, thank you, That’s very nice of you to say but I’d like to be left alone if that’s okay” He got angry. ‘What’s your problem I’m trying to be nice, you don’t want to go out with me?’. Next tactic. My brother taught me if you meet a grizzly bear in the forest (Where he worked out in Canada) You make yourself as big as possible and shout. Make them think you’re dangerous too and they might just leave you alone. I shouted ‘I’ve told you I want to walk on my own now fuck off’ He gets in my face ‘You’re a fucking bitch’ and storms off. I freeze. Best to let him get ahead then I can get away. He’s well ahead so I start to walk again slowly… he walks back. ‘Why won’t you give me a chance, you’re really beautiful’ I try again… I’m trying not to cry because I’m. so. afraid. ‘I’ve told you I want to be alone, now go down the escalator and leave me alone’ … ‘No but come on you’re beautiful’ I lose it and cry ‘Fuck off down that escalator now’ He doesn’t move. ‘FUCK OFF’ I scream. He storms off. I’m unable to move, I just stand there wishing I had help. After a moment I step forward, very slowly. I step onto the escalator and as I go down I see him in the distance walking towards the other tube line. Finally, I think… I’m safe. All I had to do was leave the station. I turn to leave, I’m walking out and I feel a little funny so I turn around … he’s behind me. He leaves the station after me. I have no idea what to do! There’s a group of men in high visibility jackets. They work on the lines at night. I take a chance and I walk over. I’m trying not to cry…I’m not succeeding. ‘Hi, I’m trying to get home but this man won’t leave me alone.’ I point to him, he’s standing behind a wall watching me. Half of me hopes he’ll go back inside when he sees me talking to them. ‘I live just down the road, could you please walk with me… it’s just on this street just over there’ I point. ‘Please I’m really scared, he just wouldn’t leave me alone and now he’s followed me out’. They look at me in complete silent. I cry. Eventually one steps forward and says ‘I think you should talk to the tube staff’. He walks me towards the entrance and points to the window I need to knock on. The man follows us. I wanted that man to walk with me to the window so badly but he didn’t he just pointed and walked away. He knew the other man was still behind me, he said nothing to him. I knock on the window, a door opens and a man looks at me. I’m barely able to speak now. I say what I said to the other man. He doesn’t know what to do so he tells me to wait. The door closes. He comes back with a coat and says ‘okay lets walk you home’. The man who was following me walks straight up to us… I’m terrified. The tube man knows who he is so walks a little away from me to talk to him. I overhear the tube guy telling the man that he had missed his last tube home. He knew, he chose to miss it, he chose to follow me instead. We walk down the street home. I apologise the entire time saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m just afraid… I didn’t know what he’d do… he wouldn’t leave me alone… I’m so sorry you have to walk me… thank you for helping’ He says goodnight at the entrance to my building, I live on the ground floor. I open my door walk into my room and turn the light on. There is a glass door to the outside in my room. I look at the door and realise … if that guys followed us he knows where I am. I quickly switch off the light, run into the hall, sit on the floor and weep. I covered my mouth so my flatmates couldn’t hear as I heaved out tears in a crumpled ball on the floor in the dark. I have no idea how long I was there, eventually I crawled to my room in the dark, got into bed and cried myself to sleep.
