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My husband and I were at a video game themed bar. Husband wanted to know about a drink on the menu with bourbon and lots of other “manly” ingredients. The waiter sang the drink’s praises and said it was the best drink on the menu. He sold it so well, I told him I’d order that too. His entire demeanor changed instantly. “Now this is a *strong* drink…” “Not everyone has a taste for it…” Blah blah blah.

I was pissed, because I could tell exactly what he was doing. I just smiled and told him I knew I would like it. To be honest, I just hadn’t seen the drink on the menu before my husband asked about it and the ingredients were right up my alley.

I tried to explain to my husband the overt sexism but at first he told me perhaps I was just reading into it. That’s the most frustrating part of these sorts of “minor” things. People don’t notice and can’t understand how being treated that way would feel vaguely threatening or at least alienating if they were in your shoes. He did eventually come around the more he thought about it though. In the past, at the same bar, I’ve asked if they have light beer, as in, I wanted to know if my choice would be Bud Light or some other brand, but had the waiter interpret that as girly-tasting beer like fruit beer.

The funniest part is, my husband hated the drink and I loved it so much, I finished his for him too. It was a total “old man in his study smoking a pipe” drink, like sipping a mouthful of cigars. My husband likes drinks lighter and sweeter, the kind people like that waiter expect girls to order. I’m not even sure why he ordered that one in the first place.