Yestoday we were speaking about older men in my mental health group and whether their relationships with younger women were toxic or not . I said they were often unhealthy although not always and used my relationships as an example,I have seeked out older men for relationships due to childhood abuse and many of the men noticed my vulnerability and took emotional advantage of it. Another woman said that it wasn’t toxic,and mentioned how younger high end sex workers have older men as clients and the women outsmart them. As someone who works in the sex industry I replied that I have had incidences of physical and sexual assault while working and outsmarting cannot eradicate this risk. She said that a professional sex worker would not get assaulted, which didn’t sit well with me. smart and experienced people are not devoid of bad experiences and saying it is a result of unprofessionalism seems to me to be victim blaming. I do not enjoy having my job explained to me in a patronising way by someone who has never sold sex, and in a way the sex positive movement is giving a very glamorised fictional version of the industry where no worker will come to any harm and actively cheering on women to enter the industry, ignorant to the very real risks it can pose. Yes my work has been helpful to me and has put me in a place where I could not have been otherwise, I have much preferred it to my previous job. But people acting like it has no downsides has a dangerous edge, it has its good and bad points like any other job.