I used to work backstage in theatre. I remember a male technician telling new crew at the start of a “get in” (set up and building of a set) that we should all work together, that sometimes due to time pressure (there is always time pressure) that he might be brusque but it’s just to get things done and that it meant no disrespect. I remember the crew under him accepting it, being cool with it and one even thanked him for saying what he did as usually that behaviour happened all the time as part of the culture, but no-one acknowledged the people on the end of it. It seemed to work so well, that I decided to use the same approach. It went down like an insult. I had complaints (from men) made against me. But get this, all I had done at that point was made the same intro that I’d heard a man use successfully. I hadn’t been brusque with anyone, I hadn’t said I would be brusque with anyone – all I had done was acknowledged in advance that sometimes time pressures meant that niceties went out the door. It came with the job. I was forced to apologise to these stagehands and it undermined me. It put me back in my place. As the only woman on the crew not involved in dressing, I was treated completely differently. Apparently a woman acting like a man was intolerable to them.
