Anonymous

I was coming home after seeing a play with a friend. For those interested, I was wearing jeans, a full sleeve top, a coat (it was November) a massive scarf. I got on the train and eventually there was no one on the carriage but for me and these two young teenage boys, clearly drunk. I automatically felt so panicky – drunk teenagers. One of the boys and went sat ahead and then faced me and started saying some very sexual things and it got very awkward. He stared and made comments the whole 25 min journey. I called my boyfriend to say can you pick me up and stayed on the phone to him but I was literally panicking the whole time. I was so scared he would do something – realistically I am strong enough to defend myself and I knew they were drunk and being stupid but the fear just crept in and I felt like I couldn’t move. He just wouldn’t stop!
I kept ignoring him, with all the knife crime going on, that’s all I could think about, if I moved he would stab me (sounds ridiculous lol). We all got off at the same stop, and they were walking in front of me, stopping but the other guy apologised and said he’s drunk, go ahead so I ran up the stairs and I was so panicky I couldn’t find the exit and was just running like a madwoman until I found the exit and then I thought to tell the tube attendant but just couldn’t stop myself from running out. My boyfriend was thankfully outside the station so I ran into his car and just cried. I thought about reporting it but didn’t, what’s the point I thought?
I thought I’m so stupid to be scared of some little boys, I could have gotten off earlier or change carriage or told them off but didn’t do anything. I felt so shit for weeks after because they were ‘boys/men’ and felt ‘put back into my place’. I wanted to go to the boys house and tell his mother but I didn’t do anything because what’s the point…what will that change? Why aren’t we teaching the men in our family about the crap we deal with?